kiss it better ↠ e.g.d

06

"...and she cried, kiss it
all better, I'm not ready
to go. It's not your fault,
love, you didn't know,
you didn't know..."

He ran a hand through his messy hair, it was 11 pm, and he couldn't sleep. His heart aches for Annie; he wanted her back. He wished this was all a nightmare but, he knew it wasn't. He knew that Annie was truly dead and that he was in jail for killing her murderer.

Whenever he couldn't sleep, he would text Annie and she would -most of the time- answer and they would end up calling. Sometimes, they would even go to each other's house but that only happened on the weekends mostly.

Something about Annie was soothing to Ethan; he was her calming thing in this stressful world. She was his world, the only world he cared about. Sure, he cared about his twin brother, his parents, his sister.. but Annie made him forget everything bad. She had that ability; she was his savior.

He looked up at the ceiling, shaking his head gently,

"Why'd this have to happen to you, baby girl?" He whispered, sighing.

He bit onto his lip and blinked away forming tears. He missed Annie more than anything, more than seeing the outside world. And being awake at night was dangerous, thoughts would come and so would memories.

He remembered the time he found out she self harmed; it broke his heart into a million pieces. She had done it in hidden places and was good at hiding it, so he didn't find out until 4 months into their relationship.

When he found out, they were hanging out at Annie's house. Her parents allowed them to go in her room as long as the door was open a bit. They were laying on Annie's bed, watching television. He was holding her close and tracing shapes on her leg and arm; he kept switching locations. And Annie had moved a way that her shorts showed every scar, Ethan's eyes automatically caught it.

"Baby girl, what's that?" He asked, pointing to her scars even though he already knew.

"Uh, n-nothing" she stuttered out, trying to back away.

"I know that's not nothing. Baby, how long have you been doing this?" He asked, biting his lip.

"F-four years" she said with a shaky breathe. Another sharp pain went through Ethan's chest. His beautiful girlfriend had been purposely hurting herself for four years.

"I won't say 'you have to stop' because I know it's not that easy, but will you try to stop? For me? Please baby girl" he said quietly. He looked at Annie and waited for her response. Annie looked back at Ethan, thinking for a minute and Ethan could tell a million thoughts were going through her head, and then she nodded,

"I-I'll try" she mumbled. Ethan kissed her on the cheek gently,

"Promise me you'll call me each time you feel like doing it, I don't care where I am, I'll always answer for you" he said.

"I promise" Annie spoke quietly, looking at him. He kissed her head once again before he went back to rubbing her arm and leg; still switching locations.

And Annie had kept that promise she made. Every time she wanted to harm herself, she would call Ethan. After many months, about 5, Ethan convinced Annie to throw her blade out and she did, she never got another one either.

During that time, he had learned why Annie harmed herself. Her parents were strict, she was the second oldest child; and they expected a lot from her, it put a lot of pressure. She had been bullied at her old school, some of her bullies still were messaging her and teasing her.

But together, Annie got better. She changed her phone number so her bullies couldn't text her, blocked them from social media, and she told her parents how much they were stressing her. All because of Ethan, life got better. Her parents apologized and stopped putting as much pressure on her. It took a time, even after months of not hurting herself, she would still call him crying because she wanted to.

But Ethan was willing to do whatever it took and he was willing to spend all of his time if it meant Annie would no longer be in pain. He hated seeing her upset, he wanted her happy because she deserved it.

Ethan rubbed his head, biting his lip. He hated these flashbacks, the ones of holding her while she bled to death lingered through his mind more than anything else.

He turned onto his side and curled up, starring at the wall. He just wished that all of this was over, everything. He missed Annie so badly that his heart physically ached. He just wanted to be with her again.

[Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. For those of you that don't know, I had a seizure Wednesday night. We still don't know the reason why or if it will happen again. Soon I'm getting an MRI and EEG done plus I have to go see a neurologist. Hopefully we figure out why this happened and if it'll happen again, I hope not. I have a concussion from falling, so I haven't been able to focus as much (aka another reason I haven't updated) but thank you for understanding. Don't forget to heart/comment/add to your reading list!! Follow my insta: @ polariod.dolans bye ily all!!]