● Illusory ●

Chapter 14

Yuuko

I fumbled with my heirloom necklace nervously as I stood outside Nadine's office, debating whether I should speak to her at this hour or not. I really needed to talk to her, but I was afraid I was going to interrupt her much-deserved alone time. Not to mention I'm afraid I may become bashful and/or embarass myself. I've been this way around her for years though, why does it bother me now?

Maybe it's because my sister and her friends are aware of my true feelings, or perhaps I'm feeling guilty because I promised my heart to someone who is now long gone. Ive felt guilty every time I've started to feel for someone other than May though. It's like she's still here, and still captivates my heart like she did years ago. If her ghost really is here, how am I supposed to love her? We can't touch, or even see each other!

I had decided not too long ago that I wanted to move on and love someone else, but it's so hard when it feels like her gentle hands are still enveloped in yours. It's almost as if May's holding me back now, and I don't want it to be that way. I want her to be a beautiful memory, a piece of bright color in this rainbow of color and monochrome I call my life. I don't want her to be the weight tied to my ankle. That isn't the way I'd like to think of her.

It's weird loving two people now, but can you truly love someone who is no more? Can I love the memory and spirit of May? Or am I simply just refusing to move on? Is it okay to love Nadine, even though I promised May that one day we'd marry and be happy? Does Nadine even love me?

I sighed, pushing these thoughts out if my mind. No, I need to focus on the issue at hand. My problems can come later, I thought, before walking up to Nadine's door and giving a light, perfunctory knock. I stepped back then, hearing Nadine call "Just a minute!"

I took a deep breath, straightening myself up to look as professional as possible, despite being in my street clothes. I put on a sort of poker face as she opened the door, peeking out. I admired Nadine's poofy, curly hair the moment I saw it. It almost looks like a type of cotton candy, or perhaps like a soft cloud. "Oh, do you need something, Yuuko?" Nadine asked, blinking.

I nodded. "Yes. I really need to talk about something. I wouldn't call it urgent but......I just need to speak to you."

"Oh, of course. Come right in," Nadine said, before opening the door the rest of the way. I then noticed she was wearing her silk nightrobe, and immediately felt embarassed.

"I-I'm sorry Miss, did I come at the wrong time?" I asked, to which Nadine looked down at her clothes before looking back at me.

"No, of course not. There's never a wrong time to talk to me, Yuuko," she told me, before gesturing for me to come in once more. I nodded and walked into the room, taking a seat on her lavender-colored sofa. Nadine followed, taking a seat in her favorite indigo-colored leather chair. I honestly can't count the number of times I've been in here, yet I still find her room and office to be impressive.

A large window replaced the wall to my left, allowing the light from the setting sun to filter into the room, reflecting off the silver paint of the walls. Abstract squares were etched into the walls, making the room and silver floors look futuristic. A fluffy, bubblegum pink carpet was beneath my feet, with a midnight black table holding newspapers and magazines with elegant models on them to my right. Old, handmade pillows sat next to me on the couch as my eyes scanned over the gold-tinted paintings on the walls of warriors and queens. A laptop and holoscreen sat on her mahogany desk far north of me, a phone connected to a cord sitting next to it. Lavender curtains were pinned to the side of the long window, while a red button sat prominently next to the right curtain. I assumed this brought down her bed from inside the wall, since I heard some upper-class residents of Shiner have the same kind of thing.