Prologue
I think I was about thirteen years old when I decided I wanted to die.
For as long as I could remember, I was alone. It didn't matter that I had a bunch of friends or that I was always surrounded by people who wanted to be me; I always seemed to be alone. I never had a supportive family, I barely even had parents. I had been taking care of myself; cooking dinner, getting myself to school, and disciplining myself since I was little, no wonder I was so screwed up.
Nobody knew who I really was underneath the mask I wore everyday. No, I wasn't really the straight A student, perfect life, perfect family, person that I seemed to be. Sure, I always had a smile plastered across my face and yes, I got straight A's, but that's how I kept myself from thinking about the life I lived.
I grew up in the shadow of my older sister. I'm probably just like her on the surface, but my life was completely different from hers. As I grew older, I realized that my parents loved her, and only her, I was left by myself. I learned how to cope with my parents' constant resentment of my existence and their constant criticism of everything I did, but one thing I could never get used to: their constant berating of who I chose to be.
I didn't want to be like my sister; I didn't want to go to an Ivy League school and become a doctor or lawyer, I wanted to write because it was my passion, not because I could make more money doing it. I didn't want to live my life constantly trying to get my parents' approval because I was content with my own dreams and the goals I set for myself; I didn't want to be another robot they made, just like my sister. I didn't want to grow up to be them, like so many other kids wanted. I hated that they raised me to be like them. Why would I want to be like them when I am older? They grew old and bitter with everything in their life, especially after my sister left for college. My parents' life was the exact opposite of what I wanted, but how could I live a life that the people who were supposed to love me the most didn't approve of?
So if I couldn't live the life I wanted, why live at all?
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Alone (On Hold!)
Teen Fiction"I think I was about thirteen years old when I decided I wanted to die." Hope has been able to do whatever she pleased, but that didn't mean she didn't get in trouble. After constantly being put down by her parents for not being good enough, Hope d...
