He stood next to me at the canteen, his eyes burning into me, I can feel his stare holding onto me. The butterflies erupted in stomach, he made me nervous just being around him even though we've had no spoken words. We were too shy, maybe that's what's holding it back.
I scrolled through Instagram came across a pretty girl with the perfect body, it hurts cause he doesn't follow me back on Insta and I don't have a perfect body I have all these imperfections, she has the good life I have this shitty life.
I was talking to my cousins she says my Aunty won't be around much longer because of her livers are slowly failing. It hurts because I loved her company when I was younger. I asked how mum was going as well, because I haven't heard from her for years, I didn't really get much of a reply besides "the same as usual".
13 of September marks 3 years without pop and I'm so down ATM, I cried my eyes out in the shower and I know I'm hitting depression once again,everything around me is tumbling down I hate everything I hate myself.
When I see the word hate I see myself, I hate for not being smart enough, I hate that I don't have the perfect body, I hate my appearance I hate the fat on thighs that touch and rub together, I hate the hip fat that sticks out, I hate the rolls in my stomach when I sit down. I hate looking at my skinny friends while I feel like a disgusted whale.
YOU ARE READING
The Fight to be Thin
RandomWe live in a world consumed by media, this is what your suppose to look like.... A thin model, thigh gap, small waist, flat stomach, hip bone and collar bones... You stare at your reflection your none of those, your not pretty or skinny enough, you...