Unloved (Leafycynical)

2

A/N: Trash God (AidenIsNotAMeme) is the reason I'm uploading these next parts.

Niall. Niall was so nice to me. He was so easy to work with that I ended up collaborating with him a total of three times, and that's rare. Maybe I could try calling him.

He took a while to answer, leaving me worried that I had woken him up.

"Hello?"

"For life's bleachable moments, choose Clorox," I greeted, only this time I couldn't even bring myself to laugh at the normally hilarious catchphrase.

"Haven't you any notion of time?" his scratchy voice came. I immediately felt guilty, almost hanging up the phone without apologizing.

"O-okay, I'm sorry. It's just, you're usually up pretty late. I'm sorry. I'll just-"

"No, no, what did you need?" he asked, which only made me feel worse.

"I said nevermind, Niall."

"Leaf-Calvin," he quickly corrected himself, but his tone was pressing nonetheless. It was clear that I should just spit it out and not frustrate him further, even though he was intimidating to begin with.

"I'm going to fucking do it, Niall. I'm not kidding, man, it's over," I rushed out, breathing shakily. Just saying it made me think of the things that pushed me to this point.

His voice got a little more serious when he asked, "Calvin...you're...are you serious?" He already knew what I was talking about. I could just imagine him sitting up in bed.

"Yes, I'm fucking serious. Why do you think I'm calling you at three in the goddamn morning, Niall?" I replied, a frog in my throat. There was a silence before he spoke again.

"Hold on, Calvin. I'm coming over. Stay on the line, Calvin. Can you do that?" he asked. The way he was talking reminded me of the way an adult would talk to a small child who didn't understand something. It made me feel really warm inside because my parents never cared enough to treat me like that. They never held me or tucked me in at night, and now I had Niall, who barely even knows me, talking to me over the phone like I was a little kid.

"Okay," I agreed. The thought of Niall coming over didn't seem too bad.

"I won't be long. It'll be alright, y'know."

At those words, I tried my best to hold it back, but it was too much; Niall's affirmation finalized that I was indeed going to have a meltdown. Everything that had been fucking with me and everything that put me in this position came back in a split second, and I just couldn't keep it in anymore. My face heated up even more as the frog in my throat somehow grew even larger. The angry, sad, bitter tears came splashing down my cheeks, and it was like dominos from there. My breath hitched, triggering loud, physically painful sobs, but I just couldn't control it. Trying to muffle the pitiful sounds with my sleeve, I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself, especially knowing that Niall could probably still hear me anyway.

"Yeah, it'll be alright," he said softly. I wondered if he actually believed that or if it was just filler. In the back of my mind, I knew I would be even more embarrassed later on.

"You still there, Calvin?"

"Y-yeah," I muttered, sniffling.