Unloved (Leafycynical)

10

"River's Bend" by Doorbells

Meet me at the river's bend
I wanna feel what you feel
I wanna lose when you lose
I wanna cry with you
I wanna smile when you smile

Dissolve yourself
into my arms
the river will carry us
Together

Even though I didn't want to answer, I sucked it up, sighing. "What do you want, Niall?" I asked, annoyed and confused.

"I'm outside. Do you mind opening the door?"

"What? Why?"

"Please." The way he said it convinced me that it was the right thing to do. His deep, rich voice was just so compelling that it seemed whatever he said was wise.

"Okay," I agreed, and hung up. I walked to the bathroom and washed my face with just water before going downstairs to open the door. It honestly felt like deja vu. I knew it had happened before, and it only gave me more of a sense or failure because I should've already killed myself. I stepped aside to let him in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I just couldn't go home knowing you're upset. What did I do wrong? I didn't know what to do or why you were upset," he explained, then tilted his head when he got a good look at me.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"What do you think? I never meant to make you feel like you had to take care of me. I never wanted you to stay, Niall. I know you don't want to deal with me anyway. I just wanted to say goodbye to you! That's it!" When those words came out, I could see that he as hurt by them, but I just reminded myself that he was already fed up with my bullshit.

"Now would you just go away?!" I screamed, throwing my arms out in desperation. I gasped as he grabbed me by my hoodie and shoved me into the wall. I immediately began to struggle, screaming because I felt so powerless in his grasp.

"Shh," he hushed me, but I felt I couldn't stop. I kept screaming until my throat hurt too much to do it anymore.

"Let me go! Why don't you just leave me alone so I can finally do this! I'm fucking tired! Get off of me!" I screeched, pushing at him uselessly as he moved his hands to my arms.

"Stop it!" he demanded, his grip tightening. I stopped moving and looked at his eyes, his face only a couple of inches away from mine.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, love," he declared, his voice softening when he seemed to pick up on how my body shook as I stared into his eyes like an animal that was about to be slaughtered. He stared into me before kissing me roughly. I kissed back almost shyly as he ran his hands along my sides and picked me up, his hands on my ass. I wrapped my legs around his waist when he started kissing my neck.

I was dumped on the couch before he quickly pulled off my shirt and hoodie at the same time, resuming his attack on my neck. I grabbed his shirt and began to pull it off when he went to work on my shoes. By then, I was breathing heavily with nervous anticipation. Niall took off his pants and started kissing my chest, roaming down to my stomach where he licked at my navel. I shivered when cold fingers unbuttoned my jeans. I ran my hands through his golden locks as they were pulled off of my body.

He came back up and captured my lips in his. It was a brief kiss, but sweet and passionate. He then whispered right next to my ear, "You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Do you know that?"

"No, stop it, Niall. I'm not, I'm-"

"You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Say it."

"N-Niall, I'm no-"