My Darkest Shadow

Chapter 3

Think. Breathe. Madeline was the ghost that haunted my dreams and every dark corner of New York City. The fear of returning to England paled in comparison to meeting her again. This was why I couldn't think about my decision. If I did, I feared I would change it.

Garrett's eyes bored into the back of my head as I opened the driver's side door. I felt them stay on me as he opened the passenger side, slid in, and moved to buckle his belt.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, Harper, but we have to do this," Garrett said.

Hands on the wheel, I looked over at him. The emotions of the night had stayed in creases around his eyes. But his look had changed somehow. He was speaking in earnest and for a moment I was glad he recognized the debt we owed to Kael.

"We need closure," Garrett went on, emphasizing his final word with a decisive nod.

Surprised, I shook my head, "What?"

"My therapist says I'm progressing, but have untapped trauma that may be resolved if I return to England. Face my fears. Own my past. Just like you need to."

Though the rain had stopped, the pavement glistened under the streetlights, reflecting their red, yellow and greens in pools of water. I pulled out onto the street, trying to understand Garrett's rationale for returning to England. In my opinion, his accompanying me was a terrible idea. But Garrett's argument did have some merit so I listened.

"I don't trust Ava. Honestly, I don't trust Kael either. But if going back settles our scores, answers some questions, and provides some closure, it's what we should do."

From the corner of my eye, I watched him scratch his stubble. He shifted to face me, his broad shoulder pushing into my leather seat. "I mean, from what you've told me, this lady generally doesn't have your best interests in mind. She doesn't love you. Should we even trust her?"

I massaged an oncoming headache, trying to process. Kael worried me more than the closure Garrett suggested, but this could be healing for us both, especially if we stayed under Interpol protection. "I don't know." I glanced at him. With one dark brow raised, he seemed unimpressed with my input. I sighed. "You're right. She has her own agenda. Of course she does. But she's right too, Gar. What if Madeline's crew comes looking for me?"

"Exactly." Garrett's wide fingers drummed against his knee. "You're made of tougher stuff than you were a year ago. It's not like you'll be alone over there either. I'm not Ava. I do have your best interests in mind." He finished softly, "I do love you."

Distracted by his shift in subject, I took the turn onto Maria's street a little too sharply and forced Garrett to sit straight in his seat. He gave an annoyed huff.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Maria's townhome was a massive brick structure set off by immaculate landscaping. Feature lighting beneath each window gave the home a warm and regal appearance. I had never envied her material possessions, only her ability to fearlessly form strong connections with everyone in her life. If I possessed the same talent, perhaps Garrett wouldn't be miserable as only my friend.

While my thoughts had drifted, Garrett had been speaking. He finished his speech with, "but at least you consider it possible and that has to be good enough for now."

I slid my eyes closed, trying not grow angry when he resurrected this contentious subject. Tonight had been the proposal of most women's dreams. Fireside, Garrett had knelt on one knee and produced a large diamond. My adoptive family waited breathlessly for my answer. The tightening I'd felt in my chest as soon as he'd dropped to his knee in front of me, the knot in my stomach as I heard Maria gasp in joy behind me, and the tension in every inch of my spine when I heard those words yet again meant that I could never give the answer they all wanted, yet I'd been fool enough to force the acceptance from my lips.