"Can you just listen to what I'm trying to say?"
"And can you just stop trying to say it! I'm done hearing you, this conversation is over."
Once again not only has my feelings been shot down but my desires as well. I haven't had the opportunity to become a mother, not with a controlling abusive husband and unhappy lifestyle but oh how I longed. I longed for the moment when I would hold a beautiful baby in my arms and kiss it tenderly as I felt the bond between mother and child but....no. I would not have that privilege, that gift. It's just another thing that has been taken from me. A punishment it felt like.
"I'm done talking with you Alyssa."
I reached for his hand but he quickly pulled away.
"Leave!"
Scurrying away, I went up to our master bedroom. Shutting the door and locking it I went for the house phone sitting on the bed.
Dialing Mami, I waited.
I heard the familiar and rather annoying ringing. Only making me more impatient, and the wait suspenseful. I tapped my foot anxiously as I sat, until I heard the soft woman's voice.
"Hello?"
I sighed in relief.
"Mama! It's me, Lyssa, Ma."
There were a pause for a moment but when it was over I heard the happiness in my Mama's voice.
"Lyssa! Oh my princessa, how are you dear? Why you call?"
Sighing I didn't know why I truly called, for consultation maybe but I knew what she would say before I even said the wants lingering in my mind.
Ma wouldn't encourage me to have something denied by Jason, not with our state and I still couldn't jeopardize the deal, not with years of invested money and contracts. The Empire would fall, and everyone will blame me. I would be a dead woman.
"Mama..I need your advice."
"Anything princessa."
"I want children..but Jason disapproves. He doesn't want children."
I could smell the biased opinion brewing over the phone.
"You foolish girl. You do what your husband wants, and what he says. If he doesn't want children, neither do you. Never call me with such stupidity again child, ciao."
Hearing the dial tone I clicked end on the house phone, feeling actually stupid after that last sentence I should've called in the morning my father was there with her no doubt.
"Shouldn't have called." I murmured to myself.
"Who was that on the phone?"
Standing up quickly I stood stiff seeing Jason leaning against the doorway, arms crossed casually.
"Um...uh..bill consolidation loan services.",
Jason leaned off the wall and started walking towards me.
"And why would they be calling here?"
I gulped nervously. If he finds out I was on the phone with my mother I'll be in hot water, no... boiling.
"I don't know....uh that's exactly why I said they had the wrong number...."
Stopping only inches from me, he grabs me closer as if to hold me intimately. He starts trailing his right hand from my hip, to my side, coming to my arm and then stopping at my wrist. The whole time I was thinking it actually felt nice until he grabbed the house phone out of my hand.
"So you wouldn't mind me calling back to confirm...would you?",
My eyes widened in fear and my words stalled with hesitation.
"Um, no..no Jason that's really not necessary-" I tried to pry the phone from his grasp only for him to keep a tight grip and press the redial button.
*Ring. Ring. Ring.*
"Hello? Princessa? Hello?" My mother said after she didn't hear anything but silence on our end. Jason looked at me with hard eyes, and I could see the fury for I lied right to his face. I really am stupid. He put the phone to my ear.
"Say goodbye to your mother."
With quivering lips and watering eyes, I whispered goodbye before Jason pressed the end button. I watched helplessly as he put the phone down on our dresser and went to our shared walk in closet.
"You know, I hate nothing more than thieves..."
He took a belt off a hook.
"Cheaters."
He grabbed both ends, brought them close then pulled them apart for a satisfyingly loud snap sound. I flinched when I heard it, wiping a few stray tears I sat down on the bed and got ready.
"And liars."
Jason made his way back to me, belt in hand. Closing my eyes, I waited for the impact as I witnessed him raise the belt high ready to strike me senseless.
"But I trust you will never lie to me again." I opened one eye as he tossed the belt on the floor behind him. I was beyond shocked, this is the first time ever, he declined the opportunity of hurting me purposely.
"And next time.." Jason pulled out the second house phone from his back pocket. "Put the phones on the hook when you want to have a private conversation."
I sighed a breath of relief as he undid his tie and went inside the bathroom, to clean up most likely. To be honest...I am confused as hell. He gets a belt off the hook but doesn't hit me? He says he hates liars but says he trusts I won't lie again? Is this reality or is Jason going soft? I don't know whether this is a blessing or a curse...with him it's always the latter.
