With an accelerated heart beat and a want to live, I hopped the only two stairs remaining until I reached the top of the staircase. Pushing on, I ran into our bedroom, locking the door just as Jason shook the knob and banged on the wooden savior.
"Alyssa! Open this door right now or I swear I will kick it down!",
Not answering, I looked around, my breaths becoming shorter. I thought of what I could do because I know he is serious.
*Bang!*
Running into our bathroom, I locked that door as I heard him kicking down our bedroom one.
*CRACK!*
The door was giving 'way.
I heard his heavy footsteps.
"Alyssa, I know you're in there. You have 10 seconds to open this door.",
I sat down on the toilet seat, tears relentlessly coming down my face like a flood. He would hurt me....
"Alyssa.", His voice softened.
"I won't hurt you, just open the door...look I'm sorry I just want to answer your question."
I wiped my tears, trying to toughen up for what was to come. I knew he was lying.
Stepping up to the door, my hand hovered above the lock and shook nervously with fear.
Quickly unlocking the door I jumped back as Jason swung it open, face red and sweaty with fury.
I stood tall, ready for whatever he was about to do. 5'5 wasn't really a encouraging height compared to 6'4 but...still.
"So you wanted to know why.",
Choking out a sob, I thought maybe pleading would save me.
"Jason, please.", My voice above a whisper.
"Shut up." He countered calmly, but his eyes anything but.
Grabbing my hair, he pulled me by it. I screamed and started protesting pain but he only tightened his grip. I tried to pry his hands away but it was no use...he was too strong. He slammed the bathroom door shut as I dropped to my knees in pain only for him to lift me up and push me in front of the tall, mirror behind the bathroom door.
"Look at yourself.",
I refused to look.
"Open your eyes, look at yourself!!",
I opened my eyes to see someone I did not recognize. A woman with dark, muddy lifeless brown hair that has no sheen. Dark dull brown eyes. Oily skin that held no shine, and no glow. This woman was nothing compared to the lively, beautiful woman I had resembled four years ago.
"Look at you." Jason spat
"You're disgusting. You let yourself go. You're ugly, unkempt, I can't take you anywhere and show you off like I use to. And you wonder why.....why I treat you this way.....why I don't want to have children with a woman like you.",
He loosened his grip off my hair and smoothed it down, looking disgusted by its unhealthy, rough look, his eyes also held another emotion I could not decipher.
My eyes stayed glued on the woman staring right back at me mimicking my actions. I saw the warm tears coming down from her eyes and the broken look she was giving me. I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for him and he's trying to turn the tables saying it's my fault.
I slapped away his hand from my hair and turned around from the mirror to face him.
Merely four inches apart, I gave him a hard stare. I'm not backing down, not this time.
"You did this to me. You. This marriage is hell for me because of you. I can't go out and live like a carefree 27 year old because of you. I'm not happy Jason! And it shows!!",
I pointed to my reflection in the mirror.
"You see this unhappy, ruined, beaten woman.",
I then pointed to his reflection.
"It's because of him.",
I lowered my hand and then turned back to him fully, for a second I was afraid he would strangle me until I turned purple. Or maybe punch me and give me a shiner. Possibly knock my head into the sink. But he didn't. He just stared into my dark brown eyes like he was searching for something, just to find something....
But whatever it was I wasn't waiting for him to discover it.
Turning back, I opened the bathroom door and walked out, for the first time ever on Jason.
