AM Thoughts

#12

Do you ever wish to be the complete opposite of your gender? I don't say that I'm not grateful to born as a girl, being girl is fun, i swear. But, growing up in a family that full of boys, i always hope i were a boy. You know, when all the relatives are gathering, i hope i can sit with the boys, with my brothers. But, that would be so awkward, plus, having social anxiety is not helping, at all. Mostly, i hate myself for that. I can't even do shits right when i feel like everyone is judging me while i do things or people would think I'm coward if i don't do it. Everything is not right in my mind when i do it. I hate it!!! i just want to be confident like others but i just can't. i always feel scared and I'm fcking awkward goshhh I just want to be like my brothers :(

its fcking noon lol