Caffeine (Kyumin)

Chapter 12

"A bouquet of roses? What's wrong? It's 3 am on a Wednesday..." Sungmin said while leaning sleepily on his door.

"Just take the damn roses." I said as I shoved them in his face.

"Tell me."

I looked at him and he stared at me very intensely.

"Tell. Me."

I took a deep breath and walked into his house. We were standing in the middle of his hall.

"Ever since I met you, my life has been different. It's been months now. We met in September and it was snowing. It's now January, a new sun will rise and it'll be a new year on the 31st. Right now it's the 20th. You have to tell me that this is also something special. I can't let this go unnoticed, you need to know my feelings. I like you and you know that. You like me and I know that. I might be falling for you and you don't know that. Im trying. Really! It's really hard to try when you won't open up and let me in. I want you to know that I want us to happen. Why won't you let me try? Why won't you give us a try? What's so wrong about love? Let me come in and let your walls down for me." I felt a tear go down my cheek as I finished confessing to him.

He looked at me shocked.

"I-I... You think it's hard trying to love me?! It's harder trying to get you not to love me! I can't have you liking me or loving me! Yes I do love you too but we can't happen. We can't be an item! We can't be anything! I hope you understand. You probably won't since you're a stubborn bastard but you know what?" He grabbed my face a kissed me hardly.

"I can't fall in love with you and you can't fall in love with me. Promise me that you won't ever tell me that you love me again." His eyes became red.

"Promise me that you won't fall in love with me. Promise me that you don't like me. Promise me that you won't get involved with me in anything!" he started crying and slowly slid down his door and sat on the ground. I could hear his silent sobs. I sat on the ground in front of him and lifted his face up so he was looking at me.

"Promise you won't ever leave me." he whispered to me as more tears went down his face.

"Why won't you trust me?" I asked him quietly.

We both stayed quiet for a couple minutes.

"There's many things you don't know about me. Many things that'll scare you. I don't want you to be scared."

"Just tell me. I won't get scared or think of you differently. Promise."

He stayed silent again.

"I use to kill people." I looked up as he said it.

"When I was in high school, my parents always caught and beat me. So I did what I had to. I saw a lot of ways to murder someone on TV and not get caught so I copied them. After it was done, I called the cops telling them that someone murdered them. The feeling of killing someone made all of my stress go away. So I did it more to the people who bullied me..."

I stared at the ground, thinking of what to say.

"How did you kill them?" I finally asked.

"With a knife. I refused to use a gun." I looked up at him and pulled him into a hug.

"I wouldn't think of you differently. You just had to open up. This is love. Letting the one you love know more. If they leave then it wasn't met to be true. If they stay then they're yours." I smiled at him.

"Let's start dating." he said suddenly. I looked at him with wide eyes. I was frozen.

I then nodded.