Stay calm

8

Ricky

Ryan cares about me, holy fucking shit.

I smile stupidly as I paint another canvas. I liked to just go along with whatever happened. Right now it was a bunch of roses with thorns and skulls entwined. Still dark but I actually liked it this time. I'm my biggest critic.

I look around to see I'm in a field. Those white floaty things were everywhere. This is different. There was a 50/50 chance that I was aware or remember my episodes. This one seemed nice, that is until the screaming started. What I saw was completely calm but the sound was the opposite.

I close my eyes, the screaming stopped but there was demon like creatures lunging at me. It's either screaming or this, I guess its this. It was wierd that I was aware of my own thoughts, but schizophrenia was unpredictable you never knew what would happen.

Ryan's voices echoed in the silence. Thank fucking God for your good timing.

A pair of hands rest on my shoulders but I don't shrug away this time. Ryan meant safety.

I open my eyes to my apartment and thankfully no screaming. Instead Ryan was looking at me. I wrap my arms around his neck.

"You ok now?"

"Yeah thanks to you." He wraps his arms around my waist. "Mind if I smoke some pot. It helps me calm down."

"Alright, but please not to much."

I dig around my bed until finding it and rolling a joint making sure to put less in it. Ryan was trying to help me and I was doing my best to help him do that.

"We should go to the movies later, there's a new Tim Burton playing tonight."

"Yes yes yes." I say excitedly.

"We should go now if we want to make it in time."

I put out my joint and put my shoes on.

Ryan laughs. "Someones eager."

"Comon' slow poke, I'm driving." I grab his hand and drag him out, a terrified look on his face.

*

"Park there."

"Really? It's tiny."

"That's city parking."

I groan, "if I hit something it's your fault." By some miracle I didn't hit anything.

"Good job." He smirks.

"Whatever, where do we go now."

He grabs my hand and leads me in a direction. After a few blocks I was starting to wonder if we'd ever get there.

"You're blushing again."

"Oops." I didn't even realize.

"Is it cause I'm holding your hand?" He drops his hand from mine looking a bit disappointed.

I grab it again and watch a cute little smile tug at his lips. The theater  was packed but we managed to find seats by the wall. More people came in and seats were filling up.

"Hey sit on my lap so there's more seats." I get up so he can sit in my seat then sit in his lap. I wasn't sure if I should lean back so I sat there awkwardly.  A few minutes into the movie Ryan's arms wrap around my waist and pull me to his chest. I relax and rest my head on his shoulder,  his breath brushed my neck making me shiver.

His hands were set on my stomach, my hands were on top of his. My stomach and sides were a big weak spot.

*unknown*

Although I would rather have been sitting with Ricky like that I was happy to see that cute little smile on his face.

*

"Ryan." I whine, "where we going now."

"You'll see." He smiles.

My ankle pops again and I start limping.

"What happened?" Ryan asked in a concerned tone.

"Oh its nothing, a few months ago I dislocated it during one of my episode's. It was right after my mom died and I was to sad to move. Ange found me and popped it back in. He knew he would have to force me to the doctor but it wasn't that bad and he didn't want to upset me more. Him and Chris did their best to fix it up. It just sometimes pops out. It hurts a little until I pop it back in."

"Could you do it now, there aren't to many people on this street."

I sit against a building, I bring my knee to my chest and grab my foot. I pull my leg harder while pushing my leg out until it popped.

Ryan cringed and helped me up, "that sounded painful."

"You get used to it." I grab onto his shoulder for support.

"You should really get that looked at." He says as he picks me up bridal style. "Aw you're blushing again."

"You just have that effect on me." He smiles happily.

"So where are we going?"

"A museum." (A/N think of night at the museum)

We walk in to see a dinosaur skeleton. Ryan stopped and stared. "I like dinosaurs."

The rest of the night was fun, everything was cool and interesting. The best part was that I was with Ryan.

*

We lay in my bed again. I'd made the nest of blankets and pillows. Ryan was spooning me from behind. His fingers slowly running over my stomach. He nuzzled my neck, gently kissing it before falling asleep.