Stay calm

11

For the past five minutes all we did was stare, studying each other. His body type was exactly like how mine was two years ago, he had the same facial structure, except slightly rounder cheeks just like mine were until I lost the little bit of baby fat I had. The few differences were his skin was a shade darker and his eyes were dark brown.

"You're Matt right."

"How did you know?"

"When we were little our mom's meet somewhere and we played in the waiting room. You were to young to remember. So um, how do you know we're brother's."

He hands me an envelope, "when my mom died she gave me this. It explained how the same man who'd raped her also raped your mom. I guess he was arrested and he identified them as victims. When we were little they had our DNA tested and it was a match."

I stare at him blankly not sure what to say.

"Shit sorry, I should leave. I just thought it would be a good idea because both our mom's died recently, I felt so alone.."

I cut him off by hugging him. Tears soaked my shoulder as his arms wrap around me.

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"No."

"Stay with me."

"I don't want to be a bother."

"You're my little brother, I want you to stay." I wipe the stray tears from his cheeks. His stomach rumbled.

"Let's make you some food."

I mix up some chocolate chip pancakes and smoothies.

"Here's a icecream smoothie with some blueberries and strawberries. Pancakes will be done in a minute."

"Thanks."

I laugh as he stuffs his face, "So tell me about yourself."

"There's not much to tell, I had a nice childhood for the most part. I got pushed around a little in school. My mom died a year ago, she's my best friend so its still really hard. If it wasn't for my boy friend I probably wouldn't be here. Um, I design book covers and clothing designs for a living. They say vaguely what they want, I come up with a few options for them to choose from and get a check. I recently got the crazy idea to try to find the guy that was my brother and its going way better than I thought. How about you?"

"Kinda the same as you except I paint and sell. My boyfriend helped me put up a website and now I'm swamped with orders."

"That's cool, you have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah he's great, he should be back from his dad's tommorow."

"I haven't seen my boyfriend in awile, I don't even know if we're still together."

"Did you guys have a fight."

"Kinda, his ex-girlfriend tried to sleep with him. I walked in on her kissing him. I took it the wrong way and stormed out. He tried to explain but I just kept yelling and crying. I told him to go away, he's tried to contact me but i don't know what to say. I'm kinda the one who fucked up. That was maybe three months ago."

"Maybe you should try, if he's trying to talk to you that means he wants you still. We all fuck up but there's always a way to fix it."

"You're right." He smiled. "Not to change the topic but I think we should talk about the guy who raped our moms."

"What about him?"

"As much as I hate to say this but he is our biological father. He did an aweful thing yet it all turned out fine. That is until our mom's died. Maybe it would give us some closure to see him."

I think for a minute. "I understand what you're saying. But it's not like he's changed. I hate him for nothing other that hurting our mothers, then again they wouldn't be our mom's if it weren't for him. I'm very confused when it comes to him."

"I am to, its a complicated, touchy subject. What do you think we should do?"

"I don't know yet, I'm still trying to get over the fact that I have a brother, which is great actually. Let's think about it more and talk about it another time, no need to rush into things."

"Good idea. Is it wierd that I feel a strong connection to you"

"No, I feel it to." I look at the clock, is it really already 10:30pm?

Matt looked sleepy, "if you want I could put in a movie, my beds over there."

"Great, mind if I get stuff from my car?"

"Yeah, put it over there." I point in a random direction. I pick a movie and scoot the t.v. closer to the bed. I should've put it here in the first place. I rarely even use the couch.

Matt set his stuff down and crawled in next to me. We made a big nest and cuddled. He kept shaking so I pulled him closer and ran my fingers through his hair. I shake when I'm stressed out and it always calmed me down. Soon he was cuddled against my chest, cute little snores came out his nose. I pull the blankets closer and kiss his head before going to sleep myself.