Things I Wished You Knew

#14

I wish you knew how much I wanted to be with you

The day you asked me why,

Why would I be with him?

If I even loved him?

If we could've had a chance

I wanted to kiss you then and now

To tell you everything

But I didn't

Why?

Because you finally chose to see me,

When I was finally with someone else,

When I finally started to smile again,

When I was slowly moving on from you.

But in that day,

You managed to get me to fall in love with you,

To stay in love with you

But I couldn't do that to him

I couldn't do that to myself

You weren't there at my worse.

What made you think that you'd be there at my best?

Was your heart so torn by her,

That you decided to torture me,

When you found out why she hated me?

Why she didn't really love you?

Were you angry at me for that?

Was that why you chose to ignore me all those weeks?

When all I did was try to help,

To be there for you?

And when you finally saw me,

With him,

Were you angry?

Was that why you yelled at me?

Made me cry?

Made me run out of there?

Because you felt that I should have been there for you?

Because you felt that I needed to apologize?

I wish you knew I did try.

That I came over to your house for the first few weeks

Only to be met with silence whenever I knocked on the door.

If only it was you that followed after me

But it wasn't

It was him

And in that moment,

I thought,

Maybe I can love again and not get hurt

Maybe this was my second chance

That it was too late for you

It was too late.