A Love of an Angel... *unedited*

V. Result

Jean’s POV

He finally speak, “We found out something. I’m sorry to say that your daughter has life span. We will still continue on her dialysis and laser treatment; maybe we can try to change it. But I suggest that you start on making her life memorable, joyful or whatever you want except making her feel more depressed and lonely, it will make her even sicker. If the whole process didn't work, I'm sorry to say but you will only have her until-”

This makes me feel weak, knowing that there is a possibility of losing Angel and I don’t know if I can handle that.

“December.” what?! But that is four months from now!

‘No! No! This can’t be happening! I only have 4 months to be with her? No, please say that his kidding!’ I’m losing my mind I don’t know what to do; my body froze keeping itself on the same place listening to the deafening words he’s saying.

“But why? Why so fast? You said you can still do something, you said there are other ways!” Daniel was all hysteric beside me.

“Yes, we can still try the medication but I won’t give you a 100% assurance that she will make it.” The doctor said calmly.

I stop listening, knowing that I have a little time to give her or to show her how much she means to me. I gather all my strength to stand up and walk to take a good look at her.

‘My Angel, my life, my first and I thought will be the last.’  She looks peaceful, sleeping soundly on her bed.  

“When are you going to tell her? She has the right to know. And letting her know will help her prepare for the possibilities. It’s going all so fast so I suggest yo-...”

I cut him and my voice is filled with anger. How could he say that? She’s not going to die. “No! You said that her medications will still continue! Don’t conclude anything you might regret. What if she lives! What if she makes it! What if...” I’m lost for words, knowing that everything I said was impossible, but I’m still hoping, even though there’s a tiny chance she can survive. I didn’t know that I’m crying until I felt something wet going down my cheeks. “Sh-she… she c-can… m-make it… I k-know th-that…” My knees gave up, and I kneel beside the bed, my face all wet because of the tears.

Angie came to hug me tightly and comfort me. “Will both pray, I know she’ll make it she’s a brave woman, don’t worry we’ll be here.” She keeps on repeating those words. I shrugged under her and stand up, wiping my tears in the process, just like what I did last time, I run, far from the pain, far from the problem. I quickly open my car door and start the engine. I maneuvered out the parking lot no idea where I was going. I drive and drive and drive until the pain stops, but sadly it didn’t, I don’t know how to stop it, every time I try, I will remember what the doctor said and tears will escape my eyes.  

Without even thinking, I found my way back home. I stared at our house thinking what I am going to do. I slowly step out of my car and walk to the door. I didn’t knock; I just enter, slamming the door as hard as I could. I feel so depressed I don’t know what to think! Everything’s too much! I don’t know what to do! My head is spinning! The whole scene keeps playing in my mind and some voices keeps shouting at me.

‘No! Go back!’

‘You need to save her!’

‘I thought you cared for her!’

‘Go back and save her!’

‘Come on! You can do something!’

‘You love her right? Do something to save her!’

“We can still try the medication but I won’t give you a 100% assurance that she will make it.” The doctor said calmly.

Tears keep spilling. It’s too much! I lifted my hands to my head as if I can remove my brain by doing it. I sat on the floor my back flat against the door. My tears was totally smudging my face which is red with my confused thoughts and irrational actions. My chest is heavy with grieving and there’s only one thing I can do to let it out.