Why me? What have I done to this world, that would give me bad enough karma to make me feel this way? How can the lyrics to Black Veil Brides' "Devil in the Mirror" mean so much to me? "Everyday feels like a war" is my truth. No matter how much I try to ignore it, it always is my constant state.
The meaning of the word 'war' use to mean so little to me. But experiencing a less global and more personal war has made me realize how powerful and deadly that one word really is. A mental war as well as a global war results in tragedy. Both can result in the tragedy that is death, the only difference is a global war can result in mass death, while a mental war can result in suicide or with BPD(borderline personality disorder). Yet this can also cause mass death if the person loses there mental war and has psychotic tendencies, then the person might be the cause of a major tragedy for the human population, and while not condoning their actions in anyway I believe they are not completely at fault (But they are still mostly) if giving the right treatment before they commit this said crime, they could possibly overcome these deadly tendencies. Even though not all mass killers have these tendencies, if our society paid as much attention to mental health as they do physical health these days in any age group whether it be people born in the founders generation(my generation and the most recent generation) or the baby boomers generation, we could minimize the mass killing that happen for this specific reason. But 'war' can also affect or further affect mental health. In global war a person can come back to society with serious mental trauma for experiencing constant death, loss, and fear while in war, which makes them slightly less stable and more prone to mental disorders than someone who has never experienced the daily tragedy of being at war. While if you overcome your mental war and get better to a certain extent your mind may never completely heal to what it was before you started this constant battle with yourself. You may experience some lingering symptoms after you 'got over' your disorder, and relapsing might happen multiple times, and while you are not prone to new disorders more than someone who has never dealt with a serious mental disorder before (this excluding eating disorders and self harm since these can, and most likely are, related to low self esteem which is a major symptom of depression), you are more likely to have to have to go through multiple treatment plans to mostly or sometimes fully recover.
"In 2014 (latest available data), there were 42,773 reported suicide deaths."
In 2014 there were 55 total deaths of American soldiers in Afghanistan.
The world nowadays only really sees the tragedy that is main stream (I am not saying this is unimportant), but the tragedy that affects us closer to home is greatly overlooked in our society, being labeled "emo" or "attention seeking". These tragedy are actually neither of them, in fact "emo" is a culture that is made up of more than cutters and people that have depression and can be some of the nicest, funniest, and coolest people you will ever meet. Also a lot of the time family and friends don't even know they are going through what they are going through until it's to late. And the stereotypes usually come from people's inability to believe that mental disorders are real and the person suffering from it can't control it, they can't comprehend the concept of mental disorders being real due to the fact they have never experienced them. For example, if you get a illness another person will be able to relate and feel sympathy due to that fact they have most likely experienced it, even illnesses they have not experienced like cancer they can see the physical symptoms which makes it easier for them to register the seriousness of the illness. But when it comes to mental disorders the only physical symptoms that are shone are things most people consider choices, like emotion or ability to eat, or even inflicting harm on yourself. But then there is also the symptoms nobody can physically see, like voices(or demons that basically tell you every flaw of yourself), suicidal thoughts which the voices amplify, or loss of hope. So instead of believing and trying to understand they dismiss it, which can lead to the condition worsening due to lack of support from the population, or even if they believe, they tend to play it down by saying, "it's just a phase" or "it will pass" which makes the person they are trying to console feel even more alone. So in most cases peoples ignorance worsens the problem resulting in suicide, which is still not understood.
And while I do suffer from this myself, the main purpose of writing this was to educated the masses on this subject. And even though I don't expect myself to make it to 2018, I do want others with the problems I'm facing to stay strong. So if you are struggling with this call:
U.S.: 1-800-273-8255
U.K.: 08457909090
Australia: 131114
To find other countries visit: http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines
Sources:
http://owndoc.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder-cause-therapy/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4318286/
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/PTSD-overview/reintegration/overview-mental-health-effects.asp
http://www.dbsalliance.org/pdfs/suicidefinalweb04.pdf
http://theovernight.donordrive.com/?fuseaction=cms.page&id=1034
https://www.statista.com/statistics/262894/western-coalition-soldiers-killed-in-afghanistan/
If you want more information I suggest going here: https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/
This is NOT a official or school related report. This is meant to inform and start a discussion. This was written at around 2:00am so any grammar or spelling errors I ask to kindly be excused. And further more I ask for this not to be taken word for word as the only truth because while a lot of this was backed up by fact most of this is my opinion. Furthermore I do not mean to offend anyone and hopefully this did not. THIS IS NOT A VALID SOURCE FOR ANY REPORT, PLEASE CHECK THE LINKS IF YOU ARE USING THIS TO WRITE A REPORT. Thank you -Er
