Terrible Habits

Method 2 My Madness.

I slap my cheeks twice, picking them at the end and open my eyes, popping in a breath mint in preparation for meeting with my Father. He never called me, which meant that is was probably for something important. Maybe he was kicking my mother out for good, a girl can dream.

Eleanor Alexandria Hamilton.

God, could the name get any more pretentious? Every time I hear it I shudder, dreading what superficial and totally wasteful punishment would be waiting for me this time. My father always believes in using full names and God-given names, although God didn't give me this name, he did. Though sometimes I think he viewed himself like a god.

Richard Hamilton was one of the wealthiest entrepreneurs in the country, all thanks to the dirty money that came from oil. An oil tycoon in the middle of south Seattle and he is my father.

He named me Eleanor like some dainty girly-girl from the 1920s that always followed the rules so that he could presume carrying on with his aristocratic ideals that made him sleep at night. I hated it. I hate a lot of things about my parents, except their money, which is why I still stick around.

Trust-fund babies, that is another name for us. We are the few and far between; the people who justify snorting coke out of a hundred dollar bill because we were feeling a little down that day.

I throw on my oversized shades and brace myself for the shit storm that is about to hit when I enter.

I wish I could easily slip away and up the large marble staircase that stretched around the foyer.

"Frank," I address our driver who slightly turns his head towards me.

"Yes Miss Eleanor," he responds.

"Did my father say, why, he wanted me back at the house?" If I was about to meet with him, I wanted to know what to expect before I walk in.

"No ma'am," he says and I roll my eyes, adding on another layer of lip gloss as we pull into our driveway. I throw on my oversized shades and push out of the car without bothering to wait for Frank to open it for me, and enter the large, mansion. Good or bad news...good or bad news I am repeating to myself as I walk through the door.

"Eleanor Alexandria Hamilton," I hear my father's voice echo from the dinning room.

I throw my purse on the counter. Bad news then. Well, better to get this over with now.

I trudge down the hallway and turn to enter the dinning room. I stop in my tracks when I see that for the first time since mom left, the dinning room table was full. I glance around at the familiar, but distant faces and I want to run.

"What the fuck is this?"

"Language," I hear a familiar voice and I lock eyes with my mother sitting next to my father. Faye, his step-wife for now, was on the other side.

"No I'm serious, what is this?" I feel my voice falter, trying to stand my own ground, but I can see all of their disappointed stars bore down on me.

Especially from Hadley, I notice her sitting in the back. Except Hadley didn't stare at me with disappointment in her eyes, she stares at me like she always did, with pity. I want to vomit.

Hadley, my older sister and the only daughter that my parents actually wanted. I found out when I was six and when my mother was on her fourth glass of wine at three in the afternoon and let it slip that she never planned to have another daughter. It was only supposed to be Hadley and Thomas. I was the mistake. I am the mistake. I am the one who ruined the family.