Terrible Habits

Unperfect.

Well my streak was bound to end sometime. As much as I've been avoiding the subject, I couldn't dodge it forever. It was Hadley's Bridal Shower and I have to be there.

I wipe my hands on my dress and flick a stray piece of hair before ringing the doorbell. I know that if I barge in everything would be ruined. My whole plan is to apologize to Hadley even though it is the last thing I want to do. I bite my tongue, because she is my sister. So I throw a smile on my face and plan to keep my mouth shut.

Hadley opens the door, a fake smile on her face.

"Eleanor," she smiles and embraces me in a quick hug before shutting the door behind me. "So great to see you."

I smile and turn to recognize her friend's faces, they were all tall, blonde and stunning. I recognize Blake and Krista from high school and I try not to make eye contact with them. They aren't my biggest fans. I get goose bumps when I feel Krista's gaze and I feel like she knows.

The house is decorated with small white and pink lights lining the staircase. The windows letting in natural light, it is a beautiful day outside. Of course the sun would decide to come out on Hadley's day.

"It looks great Had," I say quietly looking around at the decorations.

"Thank you, Krista helped me decorate," Hadley turns towards Krista smiling.

"Had," I start, I had been practicing my apology speech the whole way here. Hadley eyes me and ignores my plea.

"We were just starting brunch," she cuts me off and glares. Its the look that she always gave me when we were growing up. It means we are pretending today. Her smile drops as she links arms with Krista and leaves me in the hallway. I roll my eyes and follow them into the spacious room and I am already forgotten about.

I scan the brunch table and my eyes automatically fall to the open bar. I gaze the room and notice that everyone is elegantly drinking mimosas from tall, slender glasses. I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath and remind myself that I don't need it.

"Wedding party pics," I hear Blake say and started gesturing towards the Bridesmaids outside so they could pose in their perfect positions around Hadley. I don't even try to intrude even though as the Maid of Honor I was part of the wedding party, it wasn't worth it. I watch as Hadley laughs and gushes as they snap candid photos that will be posted by each of them on Instagram in five minutes or less.

And what exactly was I supposed to miss about this again? I spend most of the time walking around the house, remembering when she first bought it with Marcus. I sift through past memories, wondering if I was ever really happy or if I just pretended to be. I am caught up in melancholia when I hear someone tapping their glass signaling us back into the room.

"Everyone, come in the formal living room" Krista addresses us and I wish that I had alcohol right about now. "So as you know, my best friend is getting married in eight weeks!" She pauses for applause and squeals and I do my best to reciprocate my excitement. Hadley smiles and claps her hands together, laughing. I shift my stance, feeling as though I'm the only unhappy person here.

"So Blake and I came up with a little game idea we think would be fun, ok everyone gather around here," Krista gestures to the furniture in the room and I follow and take a seat. "Everyone is going to go around and say the age they lost their v card, who with and their story!"

I feel my heart drop, my stomach flip and I use every once of strength I have in me not to look at Hadley. I blink and flick a piece of hair off my shoulder and pretend to be interested, when I am dying on the inside.