Rooftops - A Year In The Making

Chapter 14 - Ideas

The words play over in my head, I hear them as her voice, although she is not here.  Speaking quietly, less than a whisper, but more powerful than full talk.  Help me.   Help me.  What could've happened? and more importantly what can I do to help?  The wooden planks nailed to my window stare, mocking me.   I start to get angry as I hear mum from downstairs, scuttling around the rooms looking for things she's put down on chairs, tables, and just about any surface she can get her hands on.

"I'm going to the pub, locking the house."  Before I can protest, or even reply I hear the front door slam shut , leaving the lock rattling inside it.  No doubt she's using the money my father gave her, and no doubt he gave it to her for the intention of it being used for me.

I sit there until the rattling stops, I let it ring out, it's not loud, until I can't hear anything except the whirr of the TV that she left on standby downstairs.  I get up to switch it off and a brown envelope floats gracefully to the ground.  As I pick it up I realise what it is, tucking it under my pillow I don't have to read it.  I've memorised the address already.

It's not too far, not walkable though, I checked on the laptop.  If you were wondering how I have a laptop it's from Dee at the local shop, she's always been nice to me, and taken me in when I've either been locked out or couldn't bare the thought of sleeping inside.  The Wi-Fi is from the neighbours, luckily the people opposite us have a good connection and a named collar on their beloved cat.

Once I turn the TV off I head to the kitchen, small and grubby, I don't like spending time in here, it definitely isn't the heart of the home.  I choose this window to climb out of because it leads straight to the garden, and I know how to get out from there.  I don't know how mum thought she would keep me locked in by simply locking the doors.  I may not be the strongest girl in the world, far from it, but I'm not dumb.  It's a bigger window than I'm used to, so I have no trouble climbing out and onto the overgrown grass beneath.  

When I get to the front door the nerves kick in.  What if she's being held prisoner.  What if her mum's secretly evil.  What if it's a trap.  What if.  What if...  I know I have to get inside so without thinking any further I go for a strong knock on the door.  Which comes out as a slight tap. against the freshly painted wood.

When I see someone looking through the peep hole my feet root to the spot.  Cass never looks through it, I think she should but she doesn't care about that sort of stuff.  I obviously can't see who it is.  It can't be her it must be her mother, or someone else?  Oh no what if it's a burglar who's holding them hostage.   I want to run, I want to run and never come back but my feet won't allow...

"Riley!"  A shout that should have been full of happiness is sad at the same time.  She leaps into my arms.  Embracing my small body in hers and doesn't let go for what seems like an eternity.  Hanging onto me like I'm going to fade away any moment.  From the brief time that I could see her I could see her blood-shot eyes squinting through dried tears, something which I should never see on her.

***

It doesn't take her long to tell me what happened.  Her words tumbling out fast, tripping over one another, something I could only just make sense of.  She looks at me, tears in her eyes.  I know I have to go, I have no idea what time mum will be back and I have more than just an idea of what would happen if I wasn't there when she did.  Like everything, even in her time of despair she knows, she always knows.
"What time do you have to leave?"  She says, wiping tears from her deep blue eyes.  
"N-now"  I say, holding back tears myself.  Lost in thoughts of what to do, both of us with problems, hers now bigger than mine.  I just want to stay here and cry with Cass, my Cassy.

I can tell she's thinking the same as she takes a moment to respond;
"OK"  To which I get up, heading for the door. Not knowing what else to say.  She looks, terrible.  Not ugly of course, but like a completely different person, her hair isn't down like usual, and I'm now seeing her for the first time without a dress on, she's wearing baggy pyjamas.

I feel a tight grip around my arm, but before I have time to register it, it spins me around.  Cass.  I am facing her for only a second, not long enough for me to look into her eyes.  Then she presses her pink lips to mine.  Again, it takes a while for me to catch up with what's happening, but when I do, surprisingly, I start to kiss back.

Back at home all I can think of is that kiss, just a month ago I would never have dreamed of kissing someone.   'BANG'  Mums back.

I look at the clock and it is 1 o'clock at night, well morning I guess, early for her.
"I'm back, if ya make any noise I'll av' ya!"  I slowly lie down, only adjusting my position a small amount and something makes a noise under my head.  I pull out the envelope, thinking about the situation.  A waterfall of idea's rushing through my desperate head.