Love Is a Losing Game // Joel Pimentel

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Chapter Twenty-One

Blu's POV

"What's up?" I smile.

Joel leans in to touch my cheek and I step away from his fingers, leaving him clearly hurt. He drops his hand and I take a breath, looking down at my shoes. "I'm sorry," he sighs.

I shake my head, "There's nothing to be sorry about, you didn't do anything wrong."

"But I did because I hurt your feelings and went back on what I said to you," he explains.

I shrug and know that if I look up he'll see the disappointment in my eyes, "It's cool. Don't sweat it."

Joel takes a step forward and I take a step back in return, trying to keep a distance between us.

"Blu, that's not fair. You spent all of tonight with Yoandri, you can't expect me to not get jealous," he argues.

I bite my lip and anger flushes through me for a second but I decide to not let it get the best of me. "Again. You didn't do anything wrong, we aren't dating even if we did confess our feelings for each other. You are at liberty to kiss whoever you want," I reply in a steady tone.

My eyes finally dare to look up and I feel my heart tug as I see Joel's saddened expression. "We were playing some stupid bottle game, Blu. I'm sorry," he breathes out.

I shrug and lift my fingers onto his cheek, looking into his eyes as I slide my thumb across his jaw, "You just have some lipstick."

He groans at my comment and I lean away from him, dropping my hand. "I don't know what it is that you want from me," I comment, not knowing why this was distressing him so much.

"Because I want you, Blu," he returns with a tone.

I shake my head at his reply, "Okay, I get that. But also we aren't a thing, so why are you apologizing? I'm not mad at your actions."

"You aren't?" he questions.

I shrug and stick my hands into the back pocket of my jeans, "Not really. I mean I didn't expect you to change and I know your reputation."

"You're not getting it—"

"—Whats not to get? I'm a nerd and you aren't. We aren't even supposed to be so much as friends," I cut him off.

Joel groans once more and runs his hands through his hair. He takes a step towards me and I again, take a step back. "Blu, look, I'm sorry. I want you, I was just acting foolish and all my friends were playing that dumb game. It doesn't mean anything," he says.

"Okay," I answer back.

"Is it really?"

I breathe out and meet his eyes yet again, "There's nothing that can change your actions and I refuse to hold a grudge against something that shouldn't affect me—"

"—So it affects you?" he interrupts.

"How does it not? You kinda went back on your words but that's not the point," I shake my head. Joel glances at me and this time when he takes a step forward I stay in my same place.

He reaches me and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, before slipping his fingers under my chin. "I'm sorry if I've hurt you by acting foolish, I promise it won't happen again," he mumbles.

I inhale and let the breath out before leaning away from his touch and deciding then and there that I needed some proof of his innocence. "You're right," I say as he looks at me slightly confused. "It won't," I finish.

***

As soon as I get home, I take off my clothes, slip my hair into a messy bun, and slide into some pajamas. My body meets my bed and I don't bother to move, I just relax.

My phone vibrates next to me and I look at it seeing a message from an unknown number. I slide my thumb across the notification slightly confused but when I read its contents it makes sense.

Unknown — Hey, it's that girl that was playing with Joel. Just wanted to let you know it was just a game and he even opposed to it before it happened because he said he was with someone. Kinda forced him into it but just wanted to clear the air.

I reply a quick, "Thanks for letting me know," and give a quick peace sign to the universe for answering my secret desire, before clicking on Joel's contact name. I type a message and as soon as I send it his iMessage bubbles pop up.

Blu — it really didn't mean anything to you?

Joel — No. You mean so much more.

Blu — very well. you may continue courting me.

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a/n

I coULD JUST BE IN MY FEELINGS YEAHHHHHH -VERSE SIMMONDS

you should listen to In My Feelings by Verse Simmonds it's groovy and chill iM IN LOVE ITS SO PLEASANT