Love Is a Losing Game // Joel Pimentel

26 | Speak

Chapter Twenty-Six

Blu's POV

"What college are you going to?" I shrug at Joel's question and continue playing with his curls, smiling down at him when he kisses the palm of my other hand. "I kinda want to move away but I also know I'm going to miss my family if that's the situation," I reply after some thought.

He nods in understanding, "Yeah, I feel that."

Silence settles among us as we look up at the sky from our place in the park. It was about to be mid terms week and we figured a nice afternoon out would be the perfect way to relax before then.

"So have you decided?" he asks carefully.

I look down at him confused, "Decided on what?"

"On who you're going to choose," he exhales.

I notice by the way he looks at me with concerned eyes that he wasn't sure who I would pick. "I'm on the brink of making a decision. I'm just waiting for a sign," I smile. 

"What type of sign is that?"

"I'll know it when I feel it," I reply with a small grin.

He laughs and pokes my cheek, "You liar. You've already chosen!" I shake my head and poke his cheek back, "I really haven't but I am leaning towards someone right now."

"Who? I promise I won't tell," he cheeses.

I bite my lip to try to hide the grin that threatened to slide its way onto my face and say, "I'm not sure about all that."

Joel relaxes against my lap before leaning up and looking into my eyes, tucking a curl behind my ear. "What do I have to do to make you mine?" he asks softly, tilting his head as he does so. My breath catches at the way his brown eyes light up in the sun and I find myself tracing the outline of his jaw carefully.

"You're already doing it," I reply with a tender gaze.

***

"Joaquín, I think I'm gonna choose Joel," I finally decide after much internal debate. I bite the nail of my thumb as I wait for a response on the phone.

"I like him more for you honestly, so I vote Joel too," he responds after shuffling around for a second.

I huff, "My only concern is what if they're only acting this way around me because I'm something they both want. What if after this they no longer treat me the same?"

"I've seen the way they both look at you. I don't think that tenderness is the type to wear away. It seems like the type to grow stronger over time," he replies with ease.

I hear him clicking his keyboard on the other side of the phone and sigh as I pull on my pajama pants. "You really think so?"

"Girl, I know so," he says.

***

The next day is boring and I just go through the motions, trying to finish all my classes. By the time lunch comes around I'm sleepy and am done with the whole learning thing.

Someone covers my eyes as I make my way to the library to have my lunch with Joaquín and I let out a mumble of protest, holding their hands in my own. "Who is it?" I question both curiously and tiredly.

"One of your mans," the voice replies.

I snort and turn around to see Yoandri. I slump into his arms and give him two firm pats before saying, "You're making me sound like a hoe." He grins at my comment and then I raise an eyebrow, "Did you come here to subtlety diss me or?"

"I came to ask if you wanted to go grab lunch with me during your free period? We could go right now?" he offers politely. I hesitate on his offer and he notices, "We could also go after school if you don't want to go now."

The only thought in my head is how I didn't want to keep leading him on if I knew what my choice would be at the end, and yet that wasn't enough to keep me from saying, "Sure. That should be fine."

He smiles warmly and gives my cheek a kiss before backing up, "Okay, see you soon beautiful."

Once he's out of sight, I turn on my heel and speed walk into the library where once I see Joaquín I sit down next to him and take a breath.

"Well, hello to you too," Joaquín jokes as he pops a grape into his mouth. I groan and hold my head in my hands, wondering why I always made bad choices.

"What happened, bella?" he questions curiously.

"I just said yes to a lunch date with Yoandri," I sigh.

"I thought—"

"Yeah my choice has remained the same, I still choose him but it's like damn," I exhale again before shaking my head at myself.

"I just feel bad for leading the other one on. He deserves better, you know?" I elaborate. Joaquín nods before popping another grape in his mouth, "Yeah, I get what you mean."

I hear a book drop near us and I snap my head, Joaquín looking in that direction as well. I see a familiar face gingerly pick up the book and my body freezes as I see Joel look at the novel, then look at me.

His eyes were glossy, the tip of his ears red, and his stare was one that was both saddened and slightly angry. I tilt my head and stand up, reaching out to ask what was wrong.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask softly, not wanting to upset him further.

He swallows and shakes his head, clenching his jaw. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion before coming a step closer. Joel takes one step back and I feel my heart drop, a sinking feeling growing in my chest.

"You choose him?" he voice cracks.

I look at Joaquín who looks equally as confused as me and I turn around when Joel asks again, slightly louder, "You choose Yoandri?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask as I try to make sense of what he was saying.

"You said you didn't want to 'lead him on,'" he says, his eyes displaying hurt in them. "You're talking about me aren't you? Well you know what, Blu? That's fine. I'm sorry for not being good enough for you and I hope you guys find happiness. I just want the best for you," he says softly. His eyes get glossier and he bites his lip, "I'll see you around."

I open my mouth to protest against his words, to let him know that I wasn't speaking about him, that I wanted him. But he just looks away from me and turns away, "You don't have to bother apologizing. You deserve better then someone who told you to 'embrace the suck' anyways."

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a/n

WHAT IS LOVEEE I CANT EXPLAINNN