Robyn - Indestructible
"I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before, I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible"
•••
It felt as if something or someone had chained me to this case. I couldn't think clear, I was too scared whoever hurt these girls is still out there already planning their next murder on a innocent girl like Brianna or her sister.
This exceeded my usual level of caring for a case or the victims.
I held my mug tight, staring down to the crime photos. Aside from the tattoos and the fact they were half sisters, we had no proof of a connection between the two cases.
Holder once said I had a gift. He said, I had the gift to see things. Seeing if someone was lying, seeing if the person of interest was guilty or innocent.
I don't believe in this hocus pocus. All I believe in is good old detective work.
And apparently, I was better at it than others.
Just when Holder's words started echoing in my head once again, he came through the door
"Speaking of the devil..." I whispered
"Me and Linden are getting Chinese. You want some?"
"Are you taking me out for dinner?" I asked crossing my arms
"Stop being such a nerd, Jane. So you want some or what?"
I smiled "come here."
Holder rolled his eyes and walked over to me "that's close enough. Sit down." I told and Holder sat down the table
"What is it? Linden's waiting..."
"I didn't wanted to say that in front of Linden, so here's the deal:
I made a account on Turner's website. I spoke to a few kids on there and one of them claims to know who runs the site. At least that's what they said. We're gonna meet tomorrow night, undercover of course.
I just wanted to let you know."
Holder raised his eyebrow at me "well, if you think it's safe, go for it. Ain't gonna hold you back, Davidson. But...what about me? This is still our case. I'm still your partner."
I bit my lip "for the moment, I...I want to work with Linden only. We just need a break from each other probably. I mean we...we sit together in this goddamn car all day, we should take a bit of distance, don't you think?"
"So you're running away from me? Jane, you and me, we both know exactly what it is that makes us so nervous about being together, why there's so much pressure between us..."
I sat up "don't say it. Just...give me a few days. Please Holder. I will come back at you, I promise."
He nodded and I could see tears glimmering in his light brown eyes
"Please, Davidson. Promise."
"I promise."
He gave me a relieving smile "so...you want Chinese or nah?!"
________
I couldn't understand what Holder liked about me. I just couldn't. I couldn't understand what he even wanted from me, what he expected from it.
It put me under pressure, I was scared of not being able to give him what he wanted. I failed so many people in my life, and he wouldn't deserve that.
Days have passed away.
We couldn't find any new connection, and we were about to give the case up. Whoever was responsible for the murders were just too good at leaving no trace, nothing.
I've spent most of my time at home. I couldn't tell whether it was because I had given up on the case or because I wanted to avoid Holder. Either way it couldn't go on like this, I had to make a decision. And it was no secret that I hated making decisions.
I called at the station, saying I'd return today. But again, I was scared to fail.
I drove to the station, trying to numb my pain and doubts with nicotine and alcohol. Probably not the best thing a cop can do, but honestly? What do I still have to lose. I walked in, greeting my fellow workers as if nothing was wrong. Although my whole life fell apart, neither of them nor Holder and Linden could make a change.
I had brought myself into this more than miserable situation, and now I had to get back up on my feet.
There it was, my office. It awaited me, and two familiar faces sat on the chairs around the mess of paper work and coffee cups.
Stephen Holder and Sarah Linden. I smiled. Watching them made me smile.
They seemed so similar, as if they were made for each other.
Holder once told me that he liked Linden a lot back in the day when they were still crime fighting partners, but that the timing was always bad. Lost in my thoughts, I dropped my bag and Brianna's diary fell out.
When I picked it up, I noticed that there was a phone number hidden under a hello kitty sticker.
"Holder, you should see that" Holder got up "what's up Davidson?"
"I found a phone number in Brianna's diary."
"Oh look, it says "the queen of darkness" right there. We should definitely give her a ring!" Holder said sarcastically
"We should. You go get a safe phone."
"Alright ma'am."
I walked in the office when Linden smiled at me, which she had never done before "you got something, Jane?"
I nodded "yep, I found a number in Brianna's diary. Could be something."
"Didn't you find anything useful in that diary?"
Linden asked
"Nope. Only teenager crap and absolutely nothing about Turner. Maybe she didn't mention him on purpose, I don't know."
"Well, anyway. Good luck, hope it'll help you finding the murder."
"Aren't you gonna help us with the case?" I asked but Linden shook her head "I have other cases to work on now that I'm back again. And...you know I don't wanna get in the way..."
I blushed "what do you mean?"
"You and Stephen. You know, I'm not blind Jane. He's a good guy although he can be an asshole of the grandest kind sometimes. Ask him out, he won't make the first step, trust me."
I felt embarrassed about Linden's words, which made me wonder if she was right. About me having possible feelings for Holder. I mean, it's no secret that he's eye fucking me 24/7 but
"Sarah, I have no time for such things, me and Holder are partners and I don't want this to get between us. For the job, you know..."
"Jane, don't make the same mistake as me."
Before Linden could finish her speech, Holder returned
"You two were talking about me, amiright?"
I pushed him out of the way "quit playing Holder"
"Ain't playing no games with you, Davidson."
I smiled "stop that. Let's make that call and arrest someone, I'm in the mood for that."
_______
Me, Holder and Linden were staring at the cell phone
"Ring that number, Davidson."
"Why me?! It was your idea to-"
Then Linden picked up the receiver "you two are absolutely incapable of being detectives for Christ's sake."
She then dialed the number and Holder and I watched her in awe
It rang....and rang....and rang.....then Linden raised her eyebrow at us
"It's Turner's wife."
•••
