Monster

Closer

~Jason~

I woke up this morning and the realization of what actually happened last night, ran through my my mind. I can't believe I did that... I mean I can, but I can't at the same time. As I sigh, I get up and throw on some clothes, I don't want to go to this stupid ass school and sit through classes that I've already completed, but I have to do what I have to, to get this job done, then I'm done, I'm out of this game. 

Are you sure Jason? You said that last time, except you were fighting your own battle and not someone else's 

The little voice in my head speaks the truth, but it was different....wasn't it? It was my own battle, I had to deal with it myself without help from anyone else. That battle made me who I am now, and I'm not mad at that. It made me realize that no one is going to ever help you, especially when you're drowning, when you really need help. No one gives a shit, so neither do I. 

As I go outside on my back porch to smoke, I see Jaira through the window in her kitchen, her mom is already gone. My body moves before my brain and I find myself at her back door and knocking, as I turn to leave she opens the door. She's standing there in her robe, I want to reach across the doorway and untie it, to see what's underneath and have her to myself all day 

"Jason? What are you doing over here?" she smiles

"U...um, I was...um ... In the neighborhood"  idiot.

"You live next door, this is your neighborhood" she laughs at my nervousness, raising an eyebrow at me "You can come in if you'd like" she smiles at me, which makes my heart hurt so much, knowing how all this will go 

You can't think about that Jason, just do as you're told 

I have to listen to that voice, there is nothing more I can do 

"I need to finish smoking" I turn around to finish my cigarette, and soon enough, she's next to me 

"What was last night about?" she asks, and I freeze 

"What do you mean?" Jason, don't ask stupid 

"Seriously? Don't act stupid! You came into my house and did some kind of voodoo shit and then you just left! Jason, you're an ass-" I roll my eyes and kiss her again, smiling at how much of an attitude she has. 

"Shut up" I say blankly against her lips 

"What the hell? Don't tell me what-" I kiss her again 

"Shut up" I look into her eyes as I hold her face, she just nods. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. As we just look at each other, I wonder why anyone would ever want to hurt her in the first place. As I hold her, I feel this need to be close to her all the time. I kiss her again, untying her robe. She tries to protest, moving my hands as we kiss making me smile a little as she pouts 

I shake my head and pick her up by her thighs, making her legs go around my waist as she locks them there. Pushing the door open, walking in, I close it behind me and lock it. I walk through her house and go up the stairs, "Where's you're bedroom?" I whisper against her lips, making her whimper

"Last door on your right" she answers me quietly and kisses me again, her body relaxes against mine 

She's getting use to you, good job Jason

I ignore the voice, again and take her into her room and close the door behind me and lay her down on her bed, laying on top of her and pulling on the belt that holds the robe together, she stops me again 

"Jaria.." 

"Jason, i...im not ready" she looks away from me, with each second that her eyes aren't on mine, it makes me want to do everything in my power to get her attention. I nuzzle my face into her neck and kiss it as my hands rub her thighs 

"I will never hurt you, I know you aren't. But that's not why I want it off of you" I whisper "I want you to stay with me today, please" 

"what about school?" 

I ignore her question, "Please" I kiss her lips. Fuck. They're so soft, as if they were clouds. She nods and wraps herself around me, making me press myself against her. I growl against her lips as I feel her warmth through her thin panties, she giggles at my response which makes me laugh

"You're teasing me now? I think you got the roles switched" I bite her lip, sucking on it which in turn makes her moan and her hips buck up into mine and a low moan escapes my throat, making her smile 

"I just like having you close to me. Is that a crime?" she replies quietly as she traces some of the tattoos on my chest 

No, but what I'm doing to you is a crime 

"No, it's not a crime. I like it" I whisper as I kiss her again, pulling her closer to me as her back arches and her chest pushes into mine, making me moan at the further contact. I haven't had sex in a long time...... a long time. I needed to relax and get back to myself after what happened to me in the past and just get over it, and I used sex, drugs and alcohol to deal with that, and it wasn't the right thing to do, but I did it anyway. As I kiss this beautiful human being, it hits the parts in my heart and soul that I didn't think were left. 

"Jason, are you OK?" 

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. Are you OK? Do you need anything?" As I ask, I run my thumb against her jaw line, everything about her is flawless, even though she seems to think other wise 

"I just need you" she pulls me closer and hide in my neck 

"A...are you sure about that?" please say no, please say no 

Please say yes ...

"For right now, yes" Listening to her tell me she needs me, makes me want her even more and I don't know how longer I can take without doing the other thing that I know will help me right now. 

I smile as I kiss her forehead and then her lips, "I'm glad you're staying with me today" her response is just to nod and cuddle further into my neck, making me smile

~~~~

The entire day was spent in her bed, whether I was on top of her or she was on top of me, which happened quite often and I wasn't about to complain when it happened. We ate food and talked about the small things, neither one of us wanting to ruin the mood with any topic that was too heavy. 

She wouldn't let me leave, even when her mom got home. Thankfully by then I had gone home and put a shirt on, which If I hadn't, wouldn't have looked as good as a fully dressed boy in her teenage daughters room. 

I stayed until dinner, getting all the kisses I could before I left. I had her pushed up against her bedroom door, kissing her lips and neck, wishing I could mark her mine...but I can't she isn't mine and she never will be, I have to accept that. 

"J..Jason..." Hearing her moaning my name made me go crazy, If I didn't get out of here, I'd be having dessert before dinner. 

Somehow, I got her to let me go. I smiled at her mom as Jaira and I walked out the back door with her where she kissed me goodbye and I promised her I would call her before she fell asleep

My night consisted of eating Chinese and trying to find a way out of this stupid ass situation that I have put myself in.... After about two hours of no luck whatsoever, took a shower, changed into more sweats and then go in bed and called Jaira, I laughed at how quickly she answered. 

We stayed on the phone until she fell asleep, but I couldn't bring myself to hang up, so I fell asleep with my ear buds in listening to her steady breathing as she slept

~~~ 

When I woke up, I was late for school but I didn't care quite frankly. I was putting a shirt on when the doorbell rang, over and over again 

"Fucking stop! I'm coming" Jesus Christ, why do people have to be so fucking annoying?

I open the door, and the last thing I remember is a fist coming in contact with my face

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This update tho..... I've been obsessed with the song "Closer" by the Chainsmokers ft. Halsey and this is what came out of that obsession lol 

Love Mads <3