Every End is a New Beginning

Chapter 17:the promise by ethan.

EMMAS pov:
     When I got home from carters i was flabbergasted on what just happened. I was so happy that he kissed me but i haven't kiss anyone since .. well you know.

     Matthew and i's first kiss was magical. It was my very first kiss in general. He made sure i was okay with it and everything. I miss him. I miss everything about him. the way he laughed, the way he twirled me in a circle like we were dancing, the way we talked about our future just everything. we were planning out our 3 year anniversary before he died. This was a big deal for us. We met at the end of our 8th grade year. I loved him since i first saw him. It's sad that i can never look into those handsome eyes ever again.

     After thinking for so long i could feel my eyes getting teary. I went in my room and grabbed the box of matthews stuff. I decided to take out my favorite picture of us and frame it. I put it right by my bed. He was the love of my life. I don't know if i'll ever be able to love someone like i loved him. I fell asleep with his hoodie in my arms.

****

A week has gone by. Ethan should be back this weekend. I have some questions that are unanswered regarding carter.
I texted him.
hey ethan

hello nerd

when can i see you?

I get back sunday night so monday morning at school?

perfect.

i miss you.

i decided not to respond to him. I don't know what i want. I'm confused with everything. I know I was eager to see him though.

****

it was monday. I was excited for the day but nervous at the same time. I haven't seen ethan in awhile and i've been hanging out with carter all week. I don't know my terms with carter. Are we dating? Are we talking? Are we friends with benefits ? what was it?

I got the school and walked towards my locker. There was a note on my locker door

meet me in the boys locker room, where we met. -ethan

i could hear footsteps coming up behind me. It was Carter. Shit shit shit what do i do? do i hide the note? do i show it to him ??
"Emma grace." Carter said
"Carter Anderson." i squirmed to hide the note behind my back.
"What's that?" he asked looking behind me.
"Nothing! it's nothing" I quickly shoved it into my back jean pocket.
"I can't wait for history today. We have another project just like how we met." carter said.
"un..yeah! Hey i'll meet you there okay ? I have to go to the library real fast!" I said.
"do u want me to come with you i don't mind-"
"No!" i cut him off, "not this time. thank you i'll see you in history." i gave him a side hug and rushed away.
******
I got to the locker room and it was quiet and empty.
"BOO!!!" ethan jumped out.
"ETHAN NO!" I fell on my ass.
"Oh em you're so clumsy how i missed you." He helped me up.
"How was your trip?" I asked.
"It was good em. how was your break?"
"It was... good." I smiled.
"what were you up too?" he asked.
Should I lie? Should I tell the truth. I think i'm gonna tell the truth. Maybe this will ease my mind and he can accept I like Carter.
"I hung out with carter most of the break.." I said awkwardly.
"oh.." He sat down on the bench and scratched his head.
"Is everything alright ethan?" I sat down next to him.
"No. I don't want you to get hurt. I promised Matthew that if-" the first bell cut him off. My heart dropped.
"promised matthew what??" I questioned anxiously.
"Em we have to go to class." he got up and started walking away. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.
"Promised matthew what?" I said with straight faced with a tear in my eye.
"come here em." he gave me a hug before i could start crying.
"promised him..." I started crying a little "..what?"

Ethan walked out of the locker room leaving me there alone, wondering, and confused. I felt like I was having some sort of PTSD moment. I kept getting flashbacks of matthews death and seeing him there dead in the car. but it was all blurry to me. I started to remember Matthew saying something to me when we first got hit. "Ethan..." is what i remember. Ethan what? What did he say? Why can't i remember? And promise Matthew what? Whatever the promise is, to me it's very important.I rushed out of the locker room towards history. I looked a mess since i just finished crying. I still had tears in my eyes. Whatever Ethan promised Matthew, could still keep me connected to Matt somehow. I got to history and made eye contact with Carter. He immediately looked concerned.
"Emma are you crying? Who did this to you?"
"I'm fine carter." I snapped.
"Emma grace please talk to me."
"no." I turned around in my seat wiping my eyes.
After class I got up and rushed out. I didn't say anything to Carter and i was going to go home. I need to find ethan.
*****
As I was walking out of the building I saw Ethan standing by his friends.
"ETHAN!" i yelled.
He looked up and told his friends something then started walking towards me.
"WHY WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME ON THAT STATEMENT??" I was freaking out now. Panicking and breathing so hard i felt like i was going to bad out. My ptsd was really bad at this point.
"Em calm down take a few deep breaths."
"NO ETHAN! DO U REALIZE HOW MUCH OF AN IMPACT MATTHEW HAS ON ME? WHY WOULD U JUST- HOW COULD U- WHATS WRONG WITH U??" I was yelling now while crying. grabbing my hair..Making a scene.
******
CARTERS POV:
I don't know what's wrong with Emma grace. But whatever it is I need to help. She didn't even say goodbye to me in class.

I was walking out of the building and I heard yelling. It was Emma. I immediately started running towards her.

"Emma grace?" I said concerned .
"GREAT JUST GREAT NOW YOU'RE HERE!" emma hysterically yelled.  
"emma grace just calm down ."
"DONT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!" She was crying so much I begun to think she was going to faint.
"Ethan was it going on here?!" I raised my voice.
"I don't know." he said.
"YOU DO KNOW! DONT ACT LIKE YOU DONT." emma screamed and passed out.
"SOMEONE GET HER WATER!! AND CALL 911 ETHAN!" I yelled.