Sinking Slow

Later time

This time when I went home I made sure to do my homework, the next day I awoke early with the sweet thoughts of Jay surrounding me. I grabbed out two t shirts. "Ooh this grey one is pretty, but..maybe Jay likes blue." I threw the grey one with the pink heart on the floor. Then I found a pair of leggings that were new and some sweat pants. "Oh I love my favorite sweats..but I think I'd look better in leggings." Then I went to the mirror, I rarely put on makeup but this time I added a little more than usual. I let my curly hair just flow that day. Then I was ready, but then I looked at the floor, my favorite things I lied there and I just don't don't feel right."you know what forget it." I told myself. It was silly for me to change because of a guy, and I wasn't going to let that happen that day. I went to school and I saw Jay. "Hey Jay!" I said in more confidence then I normally would. Before he could say "hey" I got close enough to where he could see me well and his smile faded away. He examined me up and down as I sat. "What is it?" His face started to turn more into a sort of disgusted look."what!?" I repeated myself angrily. "Oh I'm sorry Morg, it's just what you're wearing is a little different" he has a slight laugh towards the end. "And what's wrong with it?" I asked Still with a tone in my voice."hey I'm sorry Morg, just maybe a little more tight fitted things is what I'm used to." He gave me a wink trying to pull it off. he lifted my glasses up in view of my eyes. "Your makeup looks pretty." "Thanks" I said a little less angry then before, still slightly irritated. "So did you do your homework Morg?" "Could you NOT call me Morg?" "Damn, sorry" he said. After a small moment of silence he spoke again. "So...did you finish your homework?" "Yes," I told him. "Could I use it?" "Sure I said, trying to be a little more positive." He started to work on his homework. he hadn't had a single problem done on there. Then I heard a familiar voice. "Hey baby girl!" She sat down right beside me  and so did Kile. She chewed gum as loud as possible "Oh" she said with a huge smile. "I'll leave you here girl, it's all good I get it." "No!" I said to her, hoping Jay didn't hear me. "Ahem,um" I said clearing my throat. "He's kind of busy right now, you can stay here." "Okay.." she said confused. "So how have you been girl? And are you, and Jay a thing!?" She asked continuously smacking her lips on her gum. "Not exactly," I told her. "Oh well you totally should be, he's a good guy, I made the mistake of breaking up with him." "What?" Kile said. "Baby I'm joking she laughed." She paused till he looked away and cuffed her hand to one side of her mouth so only I could see. "Totally not" I fake giggled. The bell wrung and I went to library. Leaving Jay to copy my homework and Leah to stay in gym. I got a small chapter book and read. It was good, so good that I forgot the name of it, it was about a girl and how her life was really sucky, so I could relate to it pretty well. Except for the part were she falls in love, I wish I knew what that was like because Jay and I haven't really seemed to get that connection. I wondered, what would it be like, what would it feel like, and would you know, if you found your love. I put the book away in my book bag. We left library and went to our first class, I went to Science and Jay of course sat beside me. "Thanks babe" he told me and gave me back my homework, giving me the most angel like smile you'd ever seen. Maybe he wasn't that bad after all. "Okay class! Open to page 351. I turned the page fast because the teacher startled me. She was always the scary type that No one really likes, but would be to scared of her to say it. Do the vocabulary for chapter 5, and answer questions 1-20 on page 355. No one dared to ask her a question, but I was really confused about one problem and Jay couldn't help me, so I had no choice because I don't want homework. "Mrs. babbleberry?" At first none of us could say her name without laughing, but we all learned real fast that laughing was a bad idea. She seemed one of those who hated everybody and always wanted to ruin your day and crush your soul. She was there for a paycheck and that's about it. "What?" " I don't get this question. Of course every body stared their eyes down at me with shame for asking her. It's like I just agreed to murder someone. After I asked her she just confused me more by telling me the formula which she already said I didn't understand HOW it worked. so I learned my lesson after that and I went with homework after that class. I walked down the hall and went to my next class and the day really seemed to zoom by, Jay and Leah barley talked to me and I went home, I felt sad but, I don't know why. I just felt sad and dreary, like no one really pays attention to me. A lot of times I thought I might just be being used..by everyone. They probably put on a smile and pretended to like me. I went up to my bedroom, and stared out the window, looking at everything outside and just sort of wondering what things are out there I haven't seen. What adventures are in store for me? And are they soon? And actually they were very very soon. then I heard someone break my gaze. "Morgan!" I rolled my eyes and walked to David's bedroom. David never called for me but the girls and Ronny did so I always got sick of hearing my name called. "Yes?" I asked irritated. I stood in his doorway. He had posters all over his walls to were you could barely tell what the color of the wall paint actually was. Posters of video games and music bands than some i'd never heard of. He was well, I don't know what you exactly would call it, emo? Neither me or my brother ever really liked the idea of popularity. He had dark brown hair which he flipped to the side occasionally. He looked kind of like a twin of mine except the only thing we had in common was we both liked our space, keeping to our selves and keeping distance. We both longed for a good moment of piece and quiet, it's hard with the younger ones. I never really hang out with my brother, sometimes I wonder if his thoughts were sort of like mine, we didn't have a close relationship. Molly, Bridget and Ronny were the ones always bugging and wanting attention and socializing. David and I are more shy. He was fidgeting with parts to some kind of little device. "Could you uh," he paused for a moment still fidgeting with the pieces, then looked at me trying to grasp his thought again. "Could you hand me that piece over there?" It was on the counter drawer right outside of his room. "Seriously?" I asked with a tone in my voice. "What can I say? I'm lazy" he said still with his head down and his hair covering his face. I just rolled my eyes and gave it to him, I wasn't all that irritated though, I was pretty lazy too. We could get away with it and not gain any weight. I decided to try and catch a few moments of quality time with him, since Ronny was taking a bath and Molly was in the living room showing Bridget how to add as explanatory as possible. "So whatcha doing?" I asked. I tried to carefully find a spot on his bed to sit down. He locked a piece in place and glanced up at me. "Well, I don't really know,I took apart a gun, a calculator, and some weird toys of bridget's" "she's gonna kill you!" I laughed. He smiled and looked up at me. I never really got a good laugh with him and got to see such a good smile on his face. "And now I'm just seeing what will go together." "That's cool, what for?" "I don't know, I just feel like it'd be useful, you know?" I didn't nod because I didn't know, but I did smile. "Well I'll get to bed now," "yeah me too," I agreed, I seemed to have spent all day just watching out the window, and then just staring as he put pieces together. "Night" I said walking out. I went to sleep. Bridget and Molly didn't wake me coming in, and a good thing too, I needed the sleep. The next day was Wednesday but when I woke that morning I felt sick. My stomach felt queazy, and my head felt dizzy. So I was able to go back to bed. When I woke up it was 10:30 and I was so happy that they were all gone. I walked into the kitchen and just my mom was awake. I came up behind her and hoping I wouldn't startle her and tapped on her shoulder. "Morning" I said. She started up some eggs and bacon and we talked, I mainly listened to things she said though or halfway listened. "Mom I'm going out to the maze," I hopped up from my seat. "At this time?" She asked. "Yeah." I told her, "thought I'd switch things up," so I went outside and walked and made my way all the way to the center of the maze. I was sick that morning but I felt pretty good later in the day. Once I got to the center of the maze, something was..different. Usually there was nothing there but the grass, but I saw a pretty big pile of dirt in the center. As if someone had dug and put a pile of dirt and placed it on top. I was interested, and it was more quiet than usual. I didn't think that just coming there a couple hours early could make such a weird... difference. I got on my knees and started to scrape dirt out of the way. I kept digging and digging until I just gave up, there was way too much dirt. I felt an uncomfortable feeling there so I decided to leave. But a little later, when it was darker out, I had nothing better to do, so I decided to go out again.