Sinking Slow

Takin It Easy

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Sitting in the grass, staring at the blue, cloudless, still sky, no point really, but it is if you long for just a moment of peace. Gazing up trying to have no thoughts at all, clear my mind, of course that's hard to do, so a few thoughts were still there. I just thought of the blue, of the sky, of the moment. I thought nothing of the past, or the future, I just tried to clear my mind of just the present. It helped relieve my frustrated moods. I did this every chance I could possibly get. I lied there and raised an apple that was in my hand to my mouth. I took a bite now just thinking of the juices of the apple and with each crunch drifting deeper into the taste, savoring it. Thinking on an apple wasn't much, but it calmed me. Out of the few thoughts I had, one krept into my mind. The only thing that keeps going, the only thing that kept me from lying there all day, the only thing I wish to stop, time. I checked my watch and it was time for me to get up. I sat up and saw a bunch of people staring at me oddly but I was used to it. It was probably the fact that I was laying in the middle of the maze as everyone crowded around me. I took some bites of my apple and threw the rest on the ground. I came there every day, I made my way out of the maze. I always loved the maze, this one was huge. I memorized it by heart. I've been to a few mazes but none like this one. But you could blind fold me and i'd find my way out. It was the center of the town, the small and lonesome town where nothing ever happened. Before I was laying in the center of the maze the only peaceful lonesome place I can relax at. So I was on my way back home. The mad house was basically where I lived. You'd be surprised how easy one person could screw up your life. When it's just you and your mom, and she decided to have kids as if the first ones weren't enough of a handful. So there's David, Molly, Ronny, Bridget, and me. I'm Sixteen, the oldest, and I have to share a room with Molly and Bridget which irritates me more than anything. I walk to the door of our tiny house which should be a place for one or two people but somehow our whole circus fits in. then take a deep breath, because I know that my day is just going to go down hill form there or at least get more loud. I open the door and as expected I hear screams cries and whines from every corner of the room making no eye contact. I went straight to my room and sat on my bed. Then I put in the only thing that can help me ignore the world a little better, my earbuds. I play a mixture of rock and pop but rock was what I was more in the mood for, Some music that soothes me. Then all of a sudden I hear a muffled "Morgan!!!" I forget that they can't block out all the sound. I remove one bud. "What Bridget?" "Do not forget your homework!" "I won't!" I roll my eyes and put the bud back in my ear. I don't get how a four year old can think she's the ultimate boss of everyone around her. Then Molly interrupts a couple minutes later to ask if her drawing was good, I nodded my head but she looked as if I had just insulted her. I was scrolling through my screen while listening to a band called secondhand serenade. I get a text message from.....HIM. "Hey" I didn't know how to react at first, I was about to text him. I didn't know whether to say, "hey...how did you get my number?" Or "hey" I decided to go with the simple option. I texted him "hey" he didn't respond after though. I was still super exited that he actually texted ME. His name was Jay, he's like one of the cutest beings I've seen. I tried to play things off cool but a little flirty at the same time. He was like an angel from heaven and perfection in a lot of ways. He was like perfect, and that he was talking to someone as simple, ugly, and unnoticed as me, was ASTONISHING. I tried to text him after ten minutes of nothing. "So, what's up?" I saw the little dots in the corner of my phone start to move. I sat there impatiently waiting for a response, about two minutes he was just typing, and I was just waiting. Then finally a text came through it said. "Not much what about you?" I rolled my eyes to realize I kept getting so worked up over nothing. I texted him back again. "So, why text me?" I sent it, but then I realized,..maybe I shouldn't have said that. He texted back "well I was wondering something," my heart was beating faster and faster I felt it might thump out of my chest but I tried to calm down. Don't get worked up, don't get worked up. I waited, watching the little dots move, until a message came through. "I have to go to bed, I'll text you tomorrow" "wait" I texted him "hey" I texted him two minutes later. I rolled my eyes and angrily sighed laying back, letting my phone fall into my lap. I just lied there staring at the ceiling until I drifted into sleep. I awoke and it was Monday. Then I realized, I didn't do my homework. Damn...my day had just started off horrible. I didn't prepare my clothes early either so I threw on what I could find. I dug through my drawer and found a pare of light skinny jeans then I found a black T that said something about the night sky that was laying at the bottom of my closet. I grabbed it and I put my mop for hair up in a bun, not bothering to tuck in the stuck out curls. I got dressed and went to school. Every morning I tried to ignore my siblings but I always ended up having to help them. I had to help Bridget find socks and pants. She just wore the same shirt as yesterday since it was her favorite. David usually blew off Ronny so I helped him too and Molly tried to be more independent so she found her own clothes. We ate some honey nut oats and got in the car. We drove to school and I had my earbuds in listening to a couple songs before we got there. Music is a big part of my life, and it helps comfort me when nothing else in this crazy world does. Once I got to school I turned off my phone and tucked it in the pocket of my jeans. I walked in the doors and as usual just casually made my way past the office and through the next set of doors to the gym. I arrived in the gym were my class meets up. There was sitting my best friend, Leah. She was known to a lot of people as princess because of Star Wars, she was huge book nerd. I was more of the shy one though, I was quiet and kept to myself but I wasn't afraid of conversations. Leah was just more of my voice she liked to start the conversations.Yet she always had her nose in a book, but she was the best at socializing, I think I'm a neutral with girly things. I liked ripped jeans but a casual dress never hurt anyone. She was girly but nerdy also. She had light blond, long straight hair, with more big life like, surprising blue eyes. I had long brown, curly hair and more small cat looking eyes. I think she was definitely prettier than me. I had a skinny body, she had a little bit of a bigger built body than me, but she was fit. "Morgan, I totally found the guy for you!" "That's fine Leah, but I don't need a guy" I insisted to her that I was fine alone, but I think there was a piece of her brain that told her, if you don't have a guy, then you need one. "Morgan, he's just like you!" "Who is he?" She moved out of the way to view a boy across her shoulder. "No Leah!" "Yes girl!" "No Leah," I insisted. The boy she was pointing out was a perverted boy that was always a bother. He wasn't a thing like me, except for her had glasses, brown hair, and a skin town like mine. My skin was kind of, olive and Leah's skin was real white. If she only knew how much he got on my nerves. "Hey baby!" Leah hollered. Next thing you know is Leah start kissing Kile, her boyfriend. I think he's the longest relationship she's had. It's been like, maybe half a month. After about five minutes of her make-out session right beside me she finally stopped. I don't know if she even took time to take a breath, Disgusting. Right when she stopped, "Morgan," "yeah?" I said. "Did you do you're homework?" "No" I answered shyly. "Me either!" She laughed. The bell wrung. I went to my first class, it seemed that Jay tried to ignore me the whole day, until after the bell wrung after the last class, to go home. We walked side by side. "Ahem," he awkwardly clears his throat. "So..how are you?" I smiled the best I could at him. "I'm good, so what were you wondering?" I went right to the point this time. "Well..do you want to hang out?" He asked "sure that'd be cool" I said, "Ok, well how about movies, Wednesday at 7?" "Yea that's good" I said. I would leave at that moment but we were still awkwardly walking. So I said "how's life?" He told me, "oh you know, just talking it easy." Then I turned at the corner and out of school. "Bye" Then I went back home. That night I had even more homework, so I made sure to do it all, but all night I couldn't stop thinking about Jay. That devilish cute guy.