Finding Myself

Chapter 11

'Oh c'mon! I promise you won't fall,"
'I-it's too high!!" Her voice quivered
'Esme, Ann'll say your a wimp if she sees you this way,'
'I don't care what Anna says!!" She clung tightly to the branch
'God won't let you get hurt, I promise;'
'I'm scared!" She wimpered, he sighed and climbed up the tree and sat on the branch she clung to, 'look, there's the cottage and the willow valley and your lily valley," she smiled 'c'mon, I won't let go off you and God won't either, you ready?" She nodded and clung to him and he climbed down carefully;
"See, your safe,"
"God'll never let me go, will He?"
"Never." He replied and smiled at her warmly.

"My fair lady," a voice called
"Anna?" She attempted getting up but was forced back down, "Nay my lady, it is I, Penelope, your maid " she corrected.
"Oh," It was a dream.
The day went slowly and Esme would usually just day dream while the opera sang and was never really present. She'd often question Phil's reasoning as best she could and she missed the warm scent of his room and of the cottage. She missed the farm. She couldn't understand how but she felt God close to her and every time she thought about it, she'd want to cry and laugh.
"Esme?" A voice called, draging her from her stream of thought; she looked like a statue, she shone and her blue eyes glittered in the sun; she turned and searched for the voice.
Her father walked to her in a steady pace. The bruises had heal and the wounds, gone and it was like nothing had ever happened, "you will attend king Athorian's ball tommorow evening, " he said, "you must get ready, he demands your precence," she nodded and stood gracefully; her father's reaction was not readable and he grabbed her hand gently, "sit child," he said and she sat on the beautifully furnished wooden bench and the king sat beside her, "you have not been yourself, you usually... talk more than I do but now, I forget how your voice sounds." He said,
"I apologise, My Lord,"
"I do not ask it of you. What did the farmer do to you, did he harm you!!?" He asked with urgency
"Nay, my Lord," she sighed,
"Esme, my child. I apologise for hitting you, it was not well of me,"
"All is forgiven,"
"Then why do you not speak?"
"It appears, my Lord, I haven't a thing of value to say, " he thought for some time and released her to prepare. She soaked for hours and then was dressed in a fine red and crimson silk dress that brought out her elegant form as The servants packed her luggage.
The carriage drove smoothly to king Athorian's kingdom and the king with his sister welcomed her to the palace for her stay. Her room was ready and she dressed for dinner.
Downstairs was a warm room with a long table set with fine food and wine; Athorian was in his thirties and Esme could almost guess why her precence would be required. "How does my lady find my kingdom?" He said proudly
"Up to standards as it ought to be." She answered plainly,
"Yes," he said, embarrassed
"Is there nothing you find intriguing my lady?" Asked Joan, his sister
"I suppose in some ways I would commend you on the fare of you people, they do not seem in bondage, aside from that, nothing." Joan was quiet and dinner ended in an awkward silence. Esme didn't like Athorian or his sister much, they'd grown proud over the years as his kingdom grew well and almost reached the standards of Corin, almost.
She heard the door open from her room, probably entertaining another guest for tommorow's ball 'oh Lord, how boring it shall be' she sighed as she fell asleep.
She could hear the hustle and bustle in her sleep, her eyes shot open to the blinding light, she awoke late. She rang the bell and her servant who had accompanied her helped her to bath and dress. Breakfast was done in her room as she wished and thereafter, there was nothing amusing to do. She went down the stairs, passing tired servants who worked as she met Joan organizing; she was a fat lady with rosy skin, rosebud lips and scanty red hair; "oh good morning my lady, the ball will be soon,"
"Good morning, princess Joan, all is well I hope?"
"Yes my lady, you may go to the garden to paint or the field to ride if you please,"
"Thank you," a servant directed her to the field where she got more interest in riding and shooting. Her aim was magnificent but she soon got tired by noon and the ball would be in progress soon; she abandoned the horse and bow and went into the place to freshen up.
She wore a pale pink corset-like dress with crimson embroidery at the hem and white silk gloves. Her chestnut hair was elegantly designed and on her lips were red lipstick.
The orchestra played and low chatter was heard from the ball room after a while, Esme stepped in and the chatter stopped as all eyes were fixed on her, the men bowed and the ladies curtsied as was tradition as her presence was announced, she walked past them and sat on a throne prepared for her.
The ball proceeded on her command and the men and women danced; Joan danced with Ronald the third of eldamore and Athorian was no were to be seen, "your highness, may I have this dance" called an awfully familiar voice, Esme turned and her eyes met Phil's, her brows creased in surprise, "Phil?" She coughed out,
"Yes"
"How-"
"May I?"He smiled, she nodded and he took her hand, as she stood, the music stopped, she waved for it to continue, the orchestra played.
"You look beautiful," he smiled, Esme was lost in those emerald eyes, her stomach sunk
"Thanks," she said as he held her tightly to himself, "what are you doing here? I would not have expected your presence. I mean-"
"I'm poor?" He asked, clearly amused; she didn't reply; "I'm Edemore and Corin's greatest supplier, "
"In other words, without you I wouldn't eat," he chuckled and nodded in reply.
"Yes" there was no conversation for some time and he stared at her, she looked down
"Why did you let them take me?" She asked, He sighed
"Esme; because I love God,"
"Why would that affect me?" She asked, He sighed
"There is still much you must think about and you haven't even thought about doing so; think about how lost you are. Think about finding yourself," he said gently as he looked at her for understanding, her brows creased
'Finding myself?'
*                  *                    *                    *                *         thanks for reading darlings,
Well I'm thinking about doing an Authors note, tell me whether or not to.
Toddles, love you all😙 and please, I would really love to read what you think. Thanks guys.