Holding On To You | k.th + j.hs

Pause

"Just take deep breaths."

"That's what I've been doing for the past... How many years? It only helps so much."

"You're okay."

"I know."

"You're smiling."

"Of course."

"You're in pain."

"I know."

"... Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"... Nothing."

Taehyung sat on the end of the hospital bed. As soon as everyone left, Hoseok had started choking. He had thrown up multiple times, though, now he was just having the usual coughing-fits. Taehyung sighed as he sat with his legs criss-crossed on the bed. Hoseok stared at the ceiling.

"Don't leave me. Please," Taehyung said out of nowhere. Hoseok looked surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. I'm talking about when you..." His voice trailed off before he could finish.

"You mean when I die?" Hoseok's voice cracked with the last word.

"Yeah..."

"It's inevitable. But I'm not going to leave you."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. There's no such thing as goodb-"

"I already know what's going to happen. It's pretty obvious, isn't it? But until then... I'm going to make the most of life with you," Taehyung interrupted with a small smile as he ran his hand through the boy's hair.

"Fine. And hey, I might not die until I'm like... Thirty, or something. You might have more time with me than you think," Hoseok said. Taehyung shrugged and picked up a glass of water that was sitting on the nightstand. He took a long drink as he stared at Hoseok out of the corner of his eye.

"You know, my dad died-"

Taehyung spat out his water so fast that he started to choke. Hoseok sat up and patted him on the back.

"Are you okay-"

"What do you mean your dad died?!" Taehyung yelled through his coughing.

"I mean... What more is there to say? He was sick... Like me. He had cancer like me. He died like..." He stopped himself as Taehyung recovered.

Hoseok had tears in his eyes, but a very, very small, weak smile on his face.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Taehyung asked as he grabbed a tissue and carefully wiped Hoseok's eyes, holding the boy's chin in his hand.

"I don't know," he whispered.

Taehyung was at a loss for words. So many thoughts jumbled up in his mind that the only thing that came out of his mouth were stutters.

"B-B-But what's g-going to h-happen to you?!" He managed to say.

"I don't know," Hoseok said again.

"I-I... I-"

"Stop talking, Tae. You're barely making sense," Hoseok said. It was basically his nice way of telling him to shut up.

"But I-It's okay. I... I still have my mom. Everything's okay. I've seen this coming from a mile away. It doesn't hurt as much when you expect it, really. The good thing is, I was able to let him go. Not many people can do that. But I'm tough, remember?" Hoseok asked.

Taehyung nodded.

"The toughest person I know..." He whispered.

"You just have to smile through it," Hoseok said, and he gave a quivering grin. Though, tears still ran down his cheeks.

"The funeral is on Monday. Will you come-"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I? That'd almost be like missing your funeral, and I couldn't dream of doing that," Taehyung said before Hoseok could finish.

"You know... You are a lot tougher than you were a few years ago," Taehyung said with a smile. Hoseok rolled his eyes and laughed.

"I remember when you used to cry to me because you were afraid-"

"I know I know. You don't have to remind me. I was a coward, wasn't I?" Hoseok said with a grin.

"No. Everyone's afraid of death. I am, too. But I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid of losing-"

"I know," Hoseok sighed as he closed his eyes. Soon, the boy drifted off to sleep, leaving Taehyung alone.