But I Love him..

Ch. 3

Leigha's P.O.V

I woke up with fluorescent lighting blinding me, it took a while for me to realize where I was. Then it dawned on me I was in the hospital, the events the took place a few short hours ago crowded my mind and I wished I hadn't woken up. I don't even know how to feel, I am so broken I can't believe he gave her a baby that's the only thing I ever asked him for. I don't know why I am not enough for him, I give him everything I have to give, I love him unconditionally with every piece of my being. Where did I go wrong with him?

"Hello Ms. Gunn, how are you feeling?" the doctor asked me.

"Tired."

"Well you are going to have to take it easy, you are malnourished and three months pregnant whomp whomp whomp whoooooomp whomp" The only thing I heard was three months pregnant.

"Is my baby okay?" I thought about the many times I had gotten my ass beaten during the last three months, I wouldn't be surprised if my baby came out mentally challenged. But I didn't care if it came out with a tail and a snout I would love he or she to the best of my ability.

"Yes but the baby won't be if you don't take it easy Leigha, you can not have anymore 'accidents' or your baby will nor make it. The baby is not properly nourished but it is nothing that you can't help with prenatal vitamins, a change in diet and I can't stress this to you enough stress reduction. You have to have to have to try to reduce your stress levels or I'm afraid you will lose your child. I have some information I want to give you and I wrote you two prescriptions one for stress and anxiety the other ate prenatal pills after that I can give you your discharge papers." I nodded in agreement.

When he exited the room X walked in, I didn't even have the energy to fight with him. I was gonna leave him as soon as I got the chance.

"How you feeling baby?" He asked rubbing my leg as he sat on the hospital bed. I subconsciously jerked away from him. His touch literally made my skin crawl.

"Don't be like that Leigh I'm sorry, how can I make this right? I just wanna make you happy again." He caressed my cheek.

"You want to make me happy? X I would be happy if you didn't beat my ass on the daily, I would be happy if you respected me, I would be happy if you didn't cheat on me, I would be happy if you didn't just have a child by the next bitch. But you ain't shit so you can't and won't change. Just let me go, I wanna leave you, that's the only way you can make me happy. You damn sure can't unbreak my heart so just let me go before you cause anymore damage to it." His jaw flexed as I spoke, I could tell he was pissed at my words.

"I can't let you do that baby, you bout' to have my kid too. Naww you ain't going nowhere Leigha, I love you too much to let you leave me. I'm sorry if I can't make you happy all I can do is try, but I will not live without you and I damn sure don't plan on dying anytime soon."

"X please I'm scared for my childs life, I can't risk you hurting us all because I left a spoon in the sink. I always seem to piss you off somehow, I don't wanna fuck up and lose my baby, it's not worth it I won't let you hurt our child!" I cried

X's P.O.V

I walked into her room as the doctor walked out, she looked so dead I can't believe how pale her skin was. I hated seeing her like this, especially knowing I did it to her. Everytime I put her in the hospital I felt like shit seeing her hooked up to the machines all bruised up, and it was always my fault.

"How you feeling baby?" I asked rubbing her leg as I sat on the end of the hospital bed. She jerked away from me and it made my heart bleed to know she didn't want my touch.

"Don't be like that Leigh I'm sorry, how can I make this right? I just wanna make you happy again." I asked caressing her cheek. I just want to do right by her.

"You want to make me happy? X I would be happy if you didn't beat my ass on the daily, I would be happy if you respected me, I would be happy if you didn't cheat on me, I would be happy if you didn't just have a child by the next bitch. But you ain't shit so you can't and won't change. Just let me go, I wanna leave you, that's the only way you can make me happy. You damn sure can't unbreak my heart so just let me go before you cause anymore damage to it." I was pissed off, I know I fucked up but damn she promised she wouldn't leave me. She is not going to, I won't let it happen. I don't care if I have to chain her ass to the wall I won't let it happen.

"I can't let you do that baby, you bout' to have my kid too. Naww you ain't going nowhere Leigha, I love you too much to let you leave me. I'm sorry if I can't make you happy all I can do is try, but I will not live without you and I damn sure don't plan on dying anytime soon." She got me fucked up if she think I'm gon' let her go.

"X please I'm scared for my childs life, I can't risk you hurting us all because I left a spoon in the sink. I always seem to piss you off somehow, I don't wanna fuck up and lose my baby, it's not worth it I won't let you hurt our child!" I felt two feet tall, my girl was afraid of me, she thought I would hurt our child. I felt like scum of the fucking earth, was I really that bad? I have to change my ways before I lose her permanently.

"I promise I won't hurt you again, I will make it up to you baby." I pleaded.

"Why X? Why do you even pretend to care about me? You have a whole other family out there, why don't you go be with them and pretend we don't exist. We will be better off without you Xavi. I don't want you to poison my child with your fucked up mind, what if it's a boy? What are you going to teach him huh? To beat women? How are you gonna teach him to be a man when you aren't one yourself, I need a man X. A real man to love and respect me and my child. I can't play this role of your bitch now that I'm going to be someones mommy. What if I have a girl? Do you think it's okay for her to see her mommy getting physically and verbally abused? I don't want her to grow up thinking its okay to be disrespected. Hell think about your little girl. What if a man treated her his you treat me?" Her words stung to the pit of my soul but they were true. I would kill a nigga for disrespecting my daughter I'm already in love with her. I need to get my shot together man.

"I am a man Leigha and I will do better. But if it makes you feel better you can move in the mother in law house in the back. I won't let you out of my sight while you're pregnant with my child. I would never do anything to hurt our seed you know that."

"Whatever Xavi, I'm tired just take me home so I could sleep." the doctor came in and discharged her ten minutes later.

As we headed home the ride was silent. It was only four o clock in the afternoon. We picked up her prescription and stopped to get some food. I was supposed to visit my daughter at five so I hurry up and got her home.

"Baby I gotta go see Xaviana I'm going to be home in a few hours to talk to you." i said as i pulled up to the house. Hell it ain't no since in lying to her because my baby wasn't going away no time soon. She just rolled her eyes and attempted to get out the car but I pulled her back.

"Look daddy sorry, I love you okay?" no answer "I promise to make if better, I don't know how to fix thus but I will." I kissed her lips and she pulled away and slammed my car door. I fought the urge to get out and slap the shit out of her for her disrespect but I guess this time I'll let it slide. I know she gon' get over it , she ain't gon leave me because she loves me.