But I Love him..

Ch. 2

X P.O.V

It's early in the morning and a nigga still tired after all the work I put in last night but I got too much on my mind to sleep, I made love to my woman for hours, she needed to be buttered up before I break the news to her. Man I really hope my girl don't leave me when she find this shit out, I got a daughter. I been knowing about her since her mama, Nyla got pregnant, she my side bitch. I take care of her just like I take care of Leigha, anything I buy Leigh I buy her shit her crib is almost as big as ours, I don't put my hands on her though. She know her place and she know wifey gon' always come first. I got love for Nyla but she ain't got shit on my baby, Leigha was the full package, she's the most beautiful woman I ever saw, babygirl wake up at 6 a.m every morning to make me breakfast from scratch and dinner is always hot and ready when I walk through the door. My house is spotless, my clothes are washed and my Pits are fed, a nigga ain't gotta do shit but eat sleep and shit when he get home, she was doing al that before I beccome to expect it. My baby keep a nigga right, she perfect to me, I wouldn't change a thing about her beacause she's exactly who I molded her to be. But I know I have to tell her because I want to keep my little girl, Xaviana (zah-vee-onaa) Rae Carterson, at my house sometimes, I don't want to be no dead beat ass weekend dad. The fucked up thing is I know she gon' be feeling some type of way because that's the name she picked out for our daughter, when we decide to have kids, but I always told her I'm not ready for kids, she been wanting a baby.  I don't know how I'm gonna dig myself out of this whole but I can't let babygirl leave me, I refuse to let another nigga get what's mine. I branded that ass, baby got my full name tatted on her lower back, Xavi Raeshaud Carterson. She in love with a nigga, she do anything for daddy that's why I love her. I got her name tatted too, on my neck. Well I guess I'm going to break the new to her when she get out the sho-. She just walked in the room.

"Baby sit down let me talk to you." She sat next to me, still in her towel, and I pulled her on my lap and kissed her neck, she giggled.

"Baby I don't know how to tell you this but-"

"Are you breaking up with me? Did I do something wrong?" My girl was so innocent, I don't know how I do this shit to her.

"Naw baby it ain't shit like that, just listen,"  She sighed a sigh of relief "Promise me once I tell you this you ain't gon leave me?" she nodded in agreement. I could tell she was getting anxious.

"Tell me, I need to hear it." I looked into her eyes as I spoke.

"Baby I would never leave you, I promise." She deserve a better nigga, but she'll never get one because I'll kill his ass.

"I got a girl pregnant and she had my baby last night." Her whole body tensed up ad I just started bear hugging her, I thought she would go crazy but she didn't. She was silent as if she was trying to register it all then she finally spoke.

"So you knew about this for nine moths and didn't tell me?" She asked very calmly.

"Yea I wanted to but I didn't know how." she did a silent laugh at my words.

"So are you still fucking with this chick?"

"Baby no, I promise," I looked her dead in the eyes and lied to her.

"So I'm not good enough to carry your seed and the next bitch is?" Damn I fucked up.

"No baby it was nothing like that, I slipped up one time and a baby is here. The condom must have broke." Another lie to her face I fucked Nya raw all the time, hell I fucked her raw last week.

"What did she have and what did she name the baby?" I diverted my gaze from hers and looked down. Then I looked back at her and she looked at my guilty face and immediately knew.

"Tell me you didn't, tell me that you didn't have a junior." Well I thought she knew. I shook my head no and the looked at her again.

"You gave her the name that I made for our daughter?" she whispered it, more like a statement then a question. She remained silent and I hugged her tighter . Then I heard soft weeping sounds that eventually turned into a full blown break down. She didn't try to fight me off of her she just cried in my arms for like ten minutes. I kept kissing her face and neck saying how sorry I was and telling her much I loved her, finally she whispered.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I let her up and before I knew it she turned around and started swinging wildly at me

"YOU PUNK ASS MUTHAFUCKA' I HATE YOU, ALL THE SHIT I DO FOR YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME." I grabbed her fist, after being hit about fifteen times, and slung her to the bed. I tried to come close to her but she jumped up and rushed me again

"FUCK YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU. I DON'T ASK YOU FOR SHIT MUTHAFUCKA! ALL I HAVE EVER ASKED YOU FOR WAS A BABY! THAT'S IT AND YOU GIVE ONE TO THE NEXT BITCH? ALL THE ASS WHOOPENS' I TAKE, ALL THE DEGRADING, ALL I DO FOR YOU XAVI REALLY?!" She was getting me good but only because I allowed her too for the time being

"I'M GONE I HOPE YOUR HAPPY. She said as she tried to walk away but I grabbed her and made her listen to me.

"CHILL! Look I'm sorry for putting you threw this sit, but you not going anywhere love. Go get in the Jacuzzi relax, have a drink, smoke a blunt whatever you wanna do. But you ain't le-" Before I could finish I heard

"Fuck you." WHAP! This bitch just slapped me! She tried to walk away but now I was pissed off too. I grabbed her by her hair and slung her halfway across the room sending her into the wall.

"BITCH DON'T YOU EVER DISRESPECT ME!" I ran over to where she was and picked her up by her throat a slammed her on the bed

"YOU FUCKING HEAR ME BITCH?" She didn't move so I slapped the shit out of her.

"BITCH ANSWER ME!" I looked down and her eyes were closed. I started to shake her but she didn't budge. FUCK! I hope she alright My emotion went from anger to fear, I can't lose her.

"Baby wake up! Wake up baby!" I panicked and rushed her to the emergency room.

I had been here for an hour before they finally  told me something.

"Family of Leigha Gunn?" The doctor came to me. I don't know why he was so formal, we then been in here too many times. They stopped asking questions about her injuries a long time ago.

"Yea that's me." I answer coolly.

"Look man she alright she just got a minor concussion, she fainted due to being overwhelmed and stressed out. The baby is okay, try to take it easy on her though because this is a high risk pregnancy and she could lose the baby. Look I don't know what y'all got going on but she's almost three months pregnant, malnourished, she's actually lost weight from the last time she was here so she can't afford anymore 'accidents' or your child's life will end before it begins." He just walked off shaking his head.

I felt like scum of the earth, I could have killed my child, I made my girl go on a diet when she was pregnant and told her she was fat.  I wonder if she even knew, man a nigga need to make a change.