Holding hands.

Chapter 13

I was sitting by the mirror, getting ready for the party. I looked at my face. A little bit more make up than usual. I didn't feel like myself. I had a peach colored top on and black jeans. I even had heels on to get the party feeling. But it didn't work. I'm not used to this. I am not the kind of person who is on these high school parties. 

I kept looking for myself in the mirror. The long lashes surrounding my blue eyes. Those thin lips that always felt so small against Brent's. The blond hair that now was curled in long curls falling over my shoulders. 

"Are you ready?" I heard Brent shout from the living room. I stood up and took up my purse and went out to the living room.

"Wow. You look beautiful." Brent said and put his arms around me.

"I don't now if I can let you go. Every guy is going to be after you." He said seriously but with a smile on his lips. Brent wore his blue jeans and a white t-shirt with his black leather jacket over.

"You look handsome." I said and looked up at his face and kissed his lips. 

"Let's go." He said and I grabbed my jacket and we went out. Luckily since we were walking it was not to far away. I felt so weird. I didn't know how to behave. I guess I'll just do what they do in the movies. Go in, take a beer or two, dance a little and walk home. It felt like a pretty safe plan.

You could hear the music even when we hadn't even entered the house yet. We went in and I didn't even have the time to take my jacket of before someone had put a bottle of beer in my hand. It was swarm inside and it smelled like sweat.

"Keep close to me!" Brent said. At least I think he did, the music was so loud that you couldn't hear your own thoughts. Brent went into the ocean of dancing teenagers while taking a sip of his beer. I kept my eyes on him so that I wouldn't lose him in the crowd, but he was three meter away from me and that gap got filled with people pretty fast. I tried to keep up with Brent, but the dancing people around me slowed me down and kept making me spill out my drink. I saw Brent on the other side of the room greeting some guy with a classic "bro handshake". At the next step I took someone bumped into me and I fell down on the floor dropping my beer. I decided to get out of the crowd as fast as possible. As I got out of the crowd I took a new bottle of beer and almost bumped into someone.

"Cass?" Jonathan said.

"Jonathan? Hi!" I said and hugged him. 

"I thought you'd be the last person I'd see here." He said. I smiled at him. He was wearing a blue shirt to a pair of jeans. 

"You look handsome." I said.

"Well I just put something on." He said. He looked at me while I took a sip of my drink.

"So? Wanna dance?" He asked.

"You know I can't dance." I said.

"It will be fun. I promise." He said and hold out his hand for me to take it. I took a big sip from my beer before I put it away and took Jonathan's hand. He walked me out to dance floor and as soon as we reached it the music stopped and and a slow song came on. Jonathan looked at me with a grin and bowed like a gentleman before putting his hands around my waist. I put my hands on his shoulder and we started to move slowly.

"Sorry.." I said when I stepped on his foot.

"Hey, don't worry. I just want you to have fun." He said and I smiled at him.

"Just look at me and don't focus on the dance." I did as he told me. I looked into his brown eyes through his glasses and tried to focus on something else.

A few dances and some shots I still stood at the dance floor. I had lost Jonathan though but I had met some girls to dance with. I felt drunk and I was but I didn't care that much because it made me feel happy and free. I would never shake my body like I did right now if I where sober. I saw Brent passing me and I quickly took his arm.

"Hey!" I said with a big smile while I kept on dancing in front of him.

"Cass? Are you drunk?" He said taking my arm to see if I was okay.

"Don't worry. Let's dance." I said and tried to make him dance but didn't succeed. 

"I think we should go out of the crowd for a while." He said and pulled me out of the crowd. I stopped me by one of the windows.

"Are you okay, Cass? How much have you been drinking?" He said.

"Just a few. Isn't that what you are supposed to do at parties? Drinking." I asked. He looked at me with a concerned look. I smiled at him.

"I love you." I said and put my arms around his neck, starting to kiss him. But he pulled me away.

"Cass you're drunk." He said.

"You don't believe I love you, don't you?" I said.

"What? What are you talking about?" He said.

"Here, I'll show you." I said. I started to climb up so I could stand on the window sill.  

"Cass! What are you doing?" Brent said in panic.

"I'm gonna shout out my love for you. Just like you did on the autumn dance." I said when I got up. 

"Oh, you really don't have to do that. Just come down." He said. I tried to keep my balance but my heel slipped and I hit my head in the window pane. I fell down but Brent caught me.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. 

"Yeah sure." I said but nearly fainted at the first step I took. 

"Okay. Cassandra let me take you outside fore some fresh air." He said.

"Air sounds nice." I said. Brent took me outside. There were a lot of people smoking on the outside. 

"This wasn't much for fresh air. Take of your shoes." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"You can hardly stand in them with out falling. Come on, give them to me." He said. I did as he said and took the heels of and gave them to him.  He was just about to say something when I i bend over and puked. Brent quickly took my hair and held it up so that I wouldn't get vomit in it.

"How do you feel?" He asked me.

"I'm fine." I said and bend over again, letting the poison out of my body.

"Come on let's go somewhere more silent." He said and took my hand and lead me to the garden. Just as we were about to walk over the grass I stopped.

"What is it?" Brent said.

"I won't walk there. The grass is wet and you took my shoes." My drunk self said. Brent sighed. He walked back to me and picked me up and carried me over the grass to the nearest bench. He put me down and sat down next to me. I was staring out in the dark.

"I miss Leah. And mom." I said. I felt how Brent looked at me with concern in is eyes.

"I know you do." He said and but his arm around me. We sat in silence for a long time.

"I'm freezing." I said silent.

"Let's go home. It's late." He said and helped me up. He took off his leather jacket and put it over my shoulder. I took my shoes in my hands and we started walking home.

While home I threw myself at the couch while Brent fixed a bag of ice for my head. I looked at him and got a smile at my lips. He came back with the bag of ice and held it to my head. 

"How do you feel?" He asked me.

"Sick." I said.

"You should lay down." He said. So I did and it didn't take long before I fell asleep