Just like me: phan

Just like me: phan pt44

*Dans pov*

It was like my entire world had been muted. The silence dwelling on the other side of that phone was like hearing death itself. I wasn't so much angry as I was scared, i still know where I was, nor did I know if Phil was still alive, I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to either of those questions.

The car was still beneath us. Had Matt driven us here on purpose or did we break down? we still weren't at the park. I turned to Matt who was gazing out the window, thinking, possibly, like me. I wasn't sure what about, but his hand kept grazing over his pocket, as if he were about to grab something, but then he would stop half way, as if remembering, it wasn't there anymore.

I was about to ask him what was wrong, or atleast tell him I was going to go look for Phil on my own, as he was wasting my time, but he started talking. 

'Do you ever feel like you've lost it Dan?' He murmured.

'Lost what?' I asked back, blankly.

'Yourself' He sighed.

'No' I mumbled.

His hand lingered over his pocket once more this time grabbing the contents and pulling it out...a gun.I hadn't really seen a gun in the hands of someone besides my dad or any of the other police officers, it was rare to see someone with one in England.

I wasn't, stupid it didn't take long for me to process the situation, Matt was either going to kill me or himself, I didn't want to think about why, I didn't have time. I threw the car door open and began running, it was pitch black by then, and the only thing that lit my pathway were the lights coming from the main road behind the trees, and the headlights of Matt's car.

'Dan stop!' I heard him yell from the car. 'You won't find him in time! Stay here, save yourself' 

Save yourself. What did he mean by that? The only person who needed saving was Phil. I paused, I had only made it maybe 10 meters away from the car.

'From who?!' I yelled back.

'Do you think they'll stop after they kill Phil? Dan, do you?!' He screamed, tears streamed down his face. 

'Matt, I-

'Because they won't! They're gon'na keep going, until I'm dead, until you're dead!' He looked around frantically. 'I don't have much to live for Dan, but you do' He held the gun to his head. 'Just be careful'

'Matt no!' I yelled, running toward him.

'Don't fucking come near me Dan! you're too good, just go, find Phil! Leave me here' His hand shook but the gun stayed on his temple.

'I can't just leave you here' I croaked.

'I'll put it this way, you save me or you save Phil' He muttered.

I shook my head, silent in shock.

'Go' He muttered. 'Just go'

I started running, tears spilled down my face, burning my cheeks. I couldn't stop though. A few seconds later I heard a gun shot, and I knew he was gone.

You save me or you save Phil.

I couldn't get those words out of my head, it was as if I chose for Phil to live over him, like I had killed him myself. I bit my bottom lip trying not to think of the fact I'd just lost one of my only friends.

I ended up on the freeway, and decided to just keep running maybe I'd find him in time, but I knew that was stretching it. I just couldn't let him die. I started to think about what life would be like without Phil, and to be honest, maybe Matt had a point, I guess I had lost myself.