Joker One-Shots

One Shot: Breaking Into Arkham

Word count: 1,186
Author's note:
    Heyo guys! I just wanted to point out that this won't have spoilers or anything and this is 100% just based on my imagination (with maybe some light referencing) 😂. I hope you like it byeee!
~Sammy

Harley's P.O.V
    I stare down at my black pumps and hum a little tune until the van comes to a stop. I scoot back and push myself against the wall just to make sure they wouldn't see me if they looked in the back. Frost pretended to be the guy we killed making a delivery to Arkham and we were let it. We stopped in the back where all the deliveries were made and Frost got out, opening the back of the van.
    Immediately Panda Guy, Eyeball Dude, Goat Head, Fake Batsy, and The Skeleton Bros as I call em' jump out of the van and start shooting up the guards. I then jump down with the new matte black twin handguns (placed in the top of my thigh-highs)  that Joker got me that say "Harley Quinn" in gold sparkly letters on the side, and Mista J's gold AK 47.
    I smile and throw my arms up in the air grinning widely, "Harley's back!" I giggle.
    I look over at Frost and nod, giving him the okay to continue and he grabs one of the dead guards ID cards and scans it. The door opens revealing two more guards that Mista J's men just take out. I walk in with Frost and Panda guy at my side, my head rocking side to side as I hear a song in my head.
    I roll my eyes as we see a few more guards as we walked but just shoot em' dead. I didn't even have to lift a finger. Arkham tells all their "patients" that the back is even more guarded than the front but they were lying. There's no more guards down here than needed to make sure anyone doesn't try to sloppily escape or any amateurs try to get in, but we're far from amateurs. I already a knew J's room number since I had someone working on the inside, and when he wasn't in his room. I picked a time that he was and my eyes burned with hatred and anger when I thought about these filthy people giving him electroshock therapy and curse myself for one point in time being one of those people.
    I pushed back the thoughts and continued on forward, as we were about to turn the corner I heard a voice and put my hand up, everyone stopped. I turned to them and mouthed 'stay here' and listened intently, my back pushed up against the wall.
    "I'm having an unscheduled session with The Joker in a few minutes! I'm having a breakthrough!" It was a female doctors voice and I was flaming with rage, but she continued, "Although, if he keeps asking about that clown girl, Harley Quinn I'm going to send him to electroshock therapy again. If he's going to be sane he needs to let all the crazy go. He'd be quite attractive with normal colored hair and none of that makeup or those tattoos." She almost gushed, and that was it!
    I turn the corner and say in a mocking, low voice, "What was that about The Joker?"
    She gasped, and whispered into the phone she was talking on, "Call the front desk, tell them she's here." With that she turned to face me.
    I giggled, "So you're my Puddins doc, huh?" She nodded and I continued, caressing one of my guns, "You see here, hun. I don't like it when people step over the line and touch my puddin. I especially don't like when they hurt him, so you gotta go." I pulled out the gun and held it at her head, tears running down her face. I giggled and pull the trigger, watching her eyes roll back and her body fall to the ground. I smirk and shoot her 3 more times, just to make sure she was dead. I thought I saw her twitch.
    Suddenly sirens start going off, and I hear footsteps. They know it's me, and are probably calling the cops. It'll be at least 6 minutes before they get here, and they'll probably send The Bat.
    "Boys!" I call J's men and they come over. I nod my head and we start walking, but I break into a run. I just couldn't afford to waste time. J's men were a little ways behind and I run down the hall right to Jokers door.
    I look in and there he is, staring at the ceiling in a straight jacket. It's only when I sniffle, not wanting tears to fall when he looks at me.
    He sits up, "Harley baby! Such a nice surprise!" He grins and my eyes light up.
    I scan the ID card that we stole from the dead guard a while ago and open the door, jumping into his arms, as he's stood out of his poor excuse for a bed.
    He chuckles, "Now now baby, you've gotta get me out of this straight jacket before you go attacking me."
    I stood back and cupped his cheeks briefly before going behind him and getting off the straight jacket. He purrs and stretches his arms, but I just pull him into a tight hug again.
    He wraps his arms around my waist and he whispers in my ear, "How long has it been Harls?"
    I giggle and pull away, staring into his eyes, but not letting go, "Two weeks."
    He smirks, "Then I guess it just felt like months." He smashed his lips against mine and kissed me. His lips felt perfect against mine, and the kiss was passionate. He slightly bit my bottom lip and I giggled into the kiss, pulling away for air, "Let me get a good look at you." He nudged me back and he eyed me lustfully.
    I smirked, "I missed you Puddin." I run my hand through his hair and stare into his icy blue eyes, getting lost in them. Something snapped me back to reality and I gasped, seeing a guard at the door. I pull my gun out and shoot him dead, not letting go of Mista J with my one hand.
    "Are ya ready to blow this popsicle stand?" I giggle and hand him his gun.
    He takes it and smiles, "God you're so good. Honey why don't we have some fun with good ol' Arkham?" He suggests and I smirk.
    "I've already called for backup." We laugh together and he finally lets go of my waist, but doesn't leave my side. We walk out of his cell side by side and start shooting up the place, I spray painted the walls writing stuff like, "Harley + Puddin", "HaHaHaHaHa", and "Jokes On You!"
    Once Batsy showed up we decided we'd play with him later and used a smoke bomb to escape. One of J's men brought his Purple Lamborghini and we zoomed down the road, we were going home.