How to be a Sociopath (Editing)

Entry Six

When I was younger I'd always hear them screaming, yelling at each other but for some reason I could never figure out why. It changed my life but didn't change me, just like everything else I was excluded.

"Male, looks to be in his mid-teens, has several broken bones as well as an internal bleed from the abdominal." I opened my eyes to find a women staring down at me, with sirens going off in the background.  "Kid?" She met my gaze. "Kid, can you hear me?!" I looked around as best as I could, was I in an ambulance? "I know you're scared but I assure you, you're in good hands, we're taking you to Lincoln Hospital. But I need you to stay alive until we get there, can you do that-" my vision darkened as my eyelids heavied, I heard an insistent beeping in the background. "BP's dropping-!" I couldn't hear the rest as I drifted to sleep.

"Look at him! He's always sitting there with that same expression doing nothing! He doesn't even laugh or cry, that's not normal and you know it."  He yelled yanking me by the arms.
"He's a boy for pete's sake! You can't hate him for being a little bit different."
"He's a freak."

"You think you're so smart now?" He grabbed me before throwing another punch, his friends snickered as I fell to the ground. I looked up to meet his gaze, my vacant stare obviously scaring him. He kicked me before spitting out the words. "You're a freak, Evans!"

"If you have time to trade insults with me than I see no reason as to why you don't pay attention in my class." She folded her arms, glaring at me.
"What insults?" I asked bluntly.
"Excuse me?!"
"You're the one who called me out to begin with and when I answered your question honestly you began insulting me." I put simply before looking out the window. I could feel her staring daggers into me, I knew the words before she even said them.
"You're a freak."

"Hey, you're that Chris guy, right?" She asked, sitting down next to me.
"Why?"
"I heard you got busted with a knife. Is that true?"
"Even if it was, is it any of your business?"
"Depends on why you bought it to school I guess."  I stared at her for a few seconds before going back to my book. "You don't care, do you?" I paused before looking up to furrow my eyebrows confused to how she figured that out in the span of a single conversation. "I've seen how you act around people, most of the time you don't react and the only time you do it's either mild annoyance or slight irritation."
"If you're going to say it just say it, I rather not you waste my time." I responded, my initial surprise gone.
"Say what?" She asked, prompting me to get a closer look at her expression, she wasn't acting oblivious, she was oblivious.
"Wait, you don't think I'm a freak?" I raised an eyebrow.
"If you're a freak, then what're the rest of us?" She smiled an easy grin.

The light was almost blinding as my vision slowly adjusted to the atmosphere. I noticed all the lights I was passing, they were pushing me on a gurney. They were talking, but I couldn't make out what they were saying as I faded back to sleep.

Emptiness, that's all I could see and feel, they were probably operating on me as we speak which means I'm under anaesthesia, but why do I feel conscious? I don't feel like I'm in a dream or asleep at all. Maybe this is what people mean by a lucid dream? Well as long as I have this opportunity I might as well take it. Let's see if I can finally find out why Claire killed herself. I focused on a memory and closed eyes before reopening them to find myself in her room.
"Hey, you," I heard the door open as  someone entered the room, it was me, she smiled.
"Hey," I replied, sitting down next to her.
"So guess what?" I just looked at her. "Not fond of guessing, sorry I forgot. Anyway, Mr. Edwards totally blew a fuse during bio class today."
"Edwards?"
"Seriously? You're in his AP class, how do you not know his name?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"He must be boring."
"Harsh, but admittedly very true." She laughed. "Anyway, so today Mr. Edwards was giving one of his annoying lectures of how at rate we're all going we won't achieve or accomplish anything and that we're just wasting his time, and this one kid today him to just leave then, Mr. Edwards was so shocked that for a good ten seconds his mouth hung open like a gaping hole but then the two started fighting, the kid kept countering his arguments and finally Mr. Edwards starting yelling before leaving the class entirely."
"This kid is you, isn't it?"
"You know me too well."
"No, you're just predictable." I answered absently and began reading my comic book, but before doing so I noticed a change in her eye before she smiled once again.
"We'll see about that."

What was that? Why did her eye change? Is if what I said? It has to be, but why did she react? Why would what I said cause her to say that? Come on, think. I closed my eyes once again in frustration but nothing came up, making me even angrier. Is that all I can remember? No, that can't be it, I'm smarter than this. I know it, so why is it this? I must know something, it must have some significance but I can't see it. Why can't I see it?

I've been confused before but never this confused, and it was getting to me so I was more than glad when I finally opened my eyes to the real world.
"Oh baby, you're awake!" I heard my mum cry as she came into view. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks had tear stains, she's been crying a lot. She was probably very worried about me, and he was probably sitting at home wishing that I'd be dead. It'll not only get ride of me, it'll also break mum's heart. Something he's wanted for as long as my memory would take me. I opened my mouth, but it was too dry for me to speak. "Thank goodness, you're alright." My mother sniffled. "They told me they found you at some alleyway in the middle of the night, I'm so sorry honey, I should've suspected something was up when you weren't there when I came to pick you." Tears ran down her face, I looked away.
"It's alright," My voice cracked as the barely audibly words came out.
"I promise we'll get back at the son of bitches who hurt you." I saw something in her eyes as she said that, she obviously cared about me but even the. I didn't feel a thing. "For now, you just rest, okay?" She said as she kissed my forehead. My eyes fell on the window, it was dark out but the lights of the city stood out like glittering stars.

Why couldn't I figure it out?