Emerging Swan

Chapter 12 - My Life Would Suck Without You

Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again

'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way I found out
I'm nothing without you

My Life Would Suck Without You ~ Kelly Clarkson

***

Edward Cullen, 2020

Events: 2014

The morning I destroyed my happiness was perfectly ordinary. I'd fallen down the stairs, causing Bella to laugh at me and single-handedly destroy every sense of self-respect I had. ("Oh, Edward, stop whining about your fragile masculinity," she'd said to me in the car. Fragile masculinity? As if.)

I think she is going to disagree with that.

After I'd lost my dignity, we headed to Rose and Emmett's house, where I found my sister lying in wait, ready with her insults to throw at Bella. Again. I wasn't going to stand for it today, so I grabbed her arm and unceremoniously dragged her from the room. Time for a chat.

"Keep your fucking thoughts to yourself!" I spat, glaring at Alice. "It is none of your business who I date or what I do, and I don't want you to ruin this for Bella and I. We're happy. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because she's bad for you!" Alice hissed. "Lauren was normal and whole and good, and Bella is messed up! I mean, she was fucking raped for crying out loud!"

I couldn't even begin to list the gaping, mind-boggling holes in her argument. Lauren? Normal and whole and good? What the fuck did whole even mean? Sexually? Compared to Bella, she was whole, because she hadn't been assaulted? What kind of 18th century, anti-feminist crap was that?

And no-one - absolutely fucking no-one, not even my sister - was allowed to behave as though Bella's trauma in any way lessened her.

"So? What's it to you? You obviously don't care about her. I'd like to know how the fuck you know about it, though." I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow, trying not to go off into a rage like I normally would. Not that raging ever worked on Alice. She just raged right back.

"Oh, please. I have friends in Forks, Edward, and everyone knows. I can assure you, I knew before you did. And as to what it is to me - she probably can't even have kids. That's what they say, anyway. She's going to be nothing but a liability to you, and she'll ruin your life."

Good god, my sister was the world's worst gossip.

"That bullshit," I said flatly. "All of it. Utter bullshit. It's my mistake to make, Alice. Just leave us alone."

"I'm doing this for your own good! I don't want you to ruin your life with that bitch!"

I saw red. I uncrossed my arms, hands balling into fists, and gritted my teeth. "You did not just—"

"Besides, I'll chase her away eventually. This will wear her down, and you'll see reason."

I stared at my sister, warned her to lay it off, and returned to the kitchen feeling incredibly angry and incredibly guilty. Maybe Alice was right. Not about Bella not being good enough for me, but about all this wearing her down. It wasn't fair that I was forcing her into a life were Alice was at her throat, and she had my bitchy ex to deal with as well as her own problems.