What Do You Mean?

Chapter 20

"Alright..." Scooter closes his notes out, then slides his phone to the side "now that we've got all that out of the way..."

We've been going over some scheduling details, but he's had a mildly nervous air about him from the minute he walked through the door. One that tells me has something to say that I might not want to hear, and I've known that business details aren't the reason he showed up from the get go.
He glances around the kitchen as if searching for something-- no, someone.

I decide to help him out "she's not here."
His nod proves I was right, he was looking for someone. B...and her not being around was the outcome he was hoping for.
"Have you thought any more about what we discussed?"

We discuss a lot of things, but there's no confusion as to what he's referring to.
"Therapy?"

"Counseling." He corrects. Apparently that has a more acceptable ring to it. Always working. Always 'managing'.

"Yeah, I thought about it." I pluck at a fray in my flannel, not really feelin' some serious discussion about how fucked up bobbi and I are. It seems like everything is a serious discussion these days.
His eyebrows raise impatiently "well? Did you speak to Bobbi about it?"

I give him virtually the exact same response with a slight variation "yeah, I talked to her about it."

"Have you ever had a conversation before, Justin? Because you're pretty shitty at it."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes "well damn, scoot, I don't know what I want. But sitting in front of some full of shit doctor who doesn't know us or how things are with us sounds like it's about the last thing on my list."

"How things are with us?" He questions.

"It's different for me and b. We aren't like every other couple. There's something more, something no one else could ever understand."

"Don't you think every couple thinks that?"

"Maybe. But in our case, it's true."

"Are things okay between you two now?" He asks, knowing damn good and well they aren't.

"No. but we'll get passed it soon and then everything will go back to normal." When I say it out loud even I can hear how stupidly naive it sounds.

"Something like this just doesn't fix itself, kid. You have to work to fix it...and if you don't, you two will drift further and further apart and one day you'll look at each other and find there's nothing left. You're going to wonder when it happened, how everything got to be so far gone, but it won't matter anyway because there's no coming back after you reach that point."

He doesn't know what the hell hes talking about. "And then what, tell me more, mr ghost of Christmas future."

"You'll be relieved. You'll realize it's over and you'll be relieved...and that's got to be the saddest part of all, if you want my opinion."

That hits me hard and I realize he's right. my throat constricts painfully at the thought of ever being relieved to walk away from each other for good.
"Nothing's ever easy for us, you know?" I mutter quietly around the lump in my throat.

"I know that..." he agrees "and this will be no different. But you guys need this and I'm not going to pretend there isn't some professional concerns in play too. You need to have your head on straight for the rest of this tour."

I shake my head in disgust "Jesus fuckin' Christ scooter, it always comes down to that shit with you."

"No. but listen, I think we both know what happens when you've got too much on your plate and things aren't right with Bobbi...it's a slippery slope for you and it isn't too long before you're pulling your shit all over the place. Do you really need the media splashing 'Justin Bieber is an asshole who's losing it' across every tabloid when your personal life is so shaky?"