bully » s.m au

seven

that was three days ago. he hasn't spoken to me since. heck, i haven't even seen him since.

i can't get the look on his face after we pulled away out of my mind. i hadn't said anything, i just looked at him. he looked disappointed. hurt, maybe?

but, what could he expect? he had bullied me since we both showed up at this stupid school. why would i like him?

but i do. i realise that now, the butterflies in my stomach as his warm lips pressed against mine, it felt like everything that was missing was a part of me again.

it's hard to describe, but despite the butterflies, i failed to say anything to him. what would i have said?

'i love you.' or maybe 'what was that for?'

but no. nothing. why am i so stupid? i just stood there, dumbfounded that the boy i didn't know i'd been loving for years, had just kissed me.

SIMON

what have i done? i've ruined any chance with the girl i love. i haven't been to school in three days, therefore not fixing anything between myself and her, nor with Lucas or Mei.

it wasn't like i planned to kiss her. i wasn't going to hurt her either. maybe just, tease her a little? either way, it happened.

when we pulled away, there was a look on her face that i can't describe. her face was contorted into a confused, or even disgusted expression. however, she still looked gorgeous.

no matter what she did, she was beautiful to me. her eyes, her hair, everything.

so why did i bully her? i don't know, really. it started as light teasing, then i guess i took it too far, as it gained me popularity and people found it funny.

all but her, and her friends.

but now, i've completely fucked any chance i had with her. coming on to her, making out with her best friend, who had and still has a boyfriend, in hopes of getting over her, ruining my relationship with my best friends.

not only did i fuck any chance i had with her, i fucked everyone around her and myself too.

i've taken people for granted, and i can't forgive myself for that. staying home for the last three days, leaving me alone with my thoughts, was not a good idea, but in that, it was.

i think i'll go to school tomorrow. i'll sort things out with JJ, and Lucas at the least. if i'm up to it, i'll deal with Mei, and Luna might have to wait another couple of days.

i hope she hasn't told anybody about what happened in the classroom.

LUNA

i haven't told anyone, but i really feel like i have to tell someone, as a courtesy to myself. however i probably shouldn't tell anyone until i've spoken to Simon.

if i speak to Simon.

he was the only thing on my mind, for the rest of the week. the moment etched into my mind and the butterflies remaining in my stomach.

it's as if i can still feel the heat and the softness of his lips against mine. they fit together like puzzle pieces, and it just felt so right.

he toyed with my heart, as if love was a game. however he did not know i was in love with him, perhaps he believed the exact opposite.

so, i texted JJ.

L: Hey Jide! what's Simon's number?

J: (#) why?

L: i want to ask him if he's alright, i feel bad since he hasn't been at school in forever.

J: classic Luna. sure, but if he says anything, let me know.

L: thank you!

i immediately texted the number given to me.

L: hi, Simon. you haven't been at school in awhile - Luna

S: how did you get my number?

L: Jide...

i didn't get a response, so i double-texted him.

L: look, about Wednesday.

S: it's fine, you don't have to say anything. i know that you hate me, how could you not after all i've done to you?

i began to type but was interrupted by another message.

S: i just wanted you to know that i love you, and the whole incident with Mei was to try and get over you. but, no matter how hard i try i can't get rid of these feelings i have for you. i've seen you smile and i want to be the reason for it, not the reason for your bad day. i want to wake up beside you and tell you that you're adorable in the mornings, i want to see you in my sweaters since they'll be way to big for you and you'll be the most beautiful i've ever seen you. but, that's like asking for the world. because you're mine.

— man i hate to leave it like this buT BOI IF ANYBODY EVER SENT ME SOME SHIT LIKE THAT ID JUST BE LIKE 'HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS MOTHERFUCKER IM JUMPING INTO MY ARMS BECAUSE IM YOURS OK CLAIM ME HOE' fuck ok bye i'm crying