If Love Really Does Exist

And my Minds Figured out not to Let You into my Dreams

It wasn't long after we got to the first venue, which was in Utah, before I couldn't avoid jaime anymore. He dragged me over to the Sleeping with Sirens bus and told me I was going to meet them whether I liked it or not. Luckily the rest of the Pierce the Veil boys were tagging along so hopefully I'd be able to hide in the chaos after the introduction.

"I'm Kellin, it's nice to finally meet you. Jaime talks about you so much." he said being the one to step forward first. He held his right arm out and I eyed his tattoos. I knew who he was. I hadn't been living under a rock. I actually was quite a fan. I took his hand slowly and he placed his other hand on top. I would have thought it was sentimental if I didn't know about Grace his girl friend of a couple years.

"Hi." I managed to mutter as Jack stepped forward, engulfing me in a bear hug. My breath hitched in my throat as pain shot up my ribs. A small whimper snuck out with out my permission and as Jack pulled away, raising his eyebrows at me. I bit my lip out of habit. I had to avoid all the contact I could. I started pointing. "Jack, Justin, Gabe. I'm a real big fan of you guys. I even know Grace over there." I said putting my finger down from Gabe's direction and nodded over to Grace.

Everyone just stood still, some pissed at my rude outburst, and others amazed I even had the nerve. My face grew hot and I knew it was red. I turned to Jaime who walked over to me, almost defensively throwing his arm around my waist. I shook him off by stepping to the side.

"So, uh, Kellin our last song is King for A Day. We're after everyone so that means you have to stick around after your set. Is that okay with you?" Vic went off nervously.

"Yeah." Kellin said taking his eyes off me, finally. "Grace will you want to stick around? You can leave if you want, it's up to you."

"I'll stay with you that's fine." she said formally. They talked to each other formally, like they weren't a couple. She stood reasonably far away from him also. It was odd and flags went off in my head.

"What was that?" Jaime questioned me as everyone started socializing again, like nothing just happened.

"I just..." I couldn't finish my statement, I didn't know how to.

"Just what? They just wanted to meet you." I could sense the slight anger in his voice.

"I'm sorry Jaime, I know they are your friends I just freaked out. Jack hugged me what if the others touched me to." I spilled. Jaime's face softened.

"I know, Rosa," he whispered in my ear and pulling me into him, "I'm sorry."

Jaime stuck by my side the rest of the night until we all went to the venue and a crew member told us the Pierce the Veil boys needed to get on stage. He hugged me and I blew him a kiss for luck right as he rushed on stage. I walked over to the side of the stage and found a perfect spot where I could see the boys but the crowd couldn't see me. Watching Jaime perform always could bring up my mood. He always got so into it. Almost too soon they neared the end of their set and Kellin was called to stage.

"Hey I'm Grace, I just thought I'd tell you even though you said you know." a pale blonde haired, blue eyed, all American girl said walking up to where I was standing.

"Hi, I'm incredibly sorry about the way I acted earlier. I'm terrible at being social." I confessed. The truth was I was uncomfortable with guys. I had no problem with girls but they always lead to boys so I typically just stayed away from everyone.

"It's perfectly fine. To be honest it scared me a bit. Vic said you weren't usually like that." Grace's voice got higher pitch when she said Vic's name. This girl has a secret and she wasn't good at anything but making it obvious.

"So," I started not really knowing what to say until it spilled out of my mouth, "you and Kellin must have to go through a lot with screaming fans and tours and stuff like that huh?"

"Yeah, I miss him a lot when he's away but, like this one, I visit him a lot or go with him. What about you? Jaime is more of a tour junkie than Kellin, you guys have to have more issues than Kellin and I." Grace said. She thought I was with Jaime. I gawked at her.

"Jaime and I are just friends. I actually just got out of a relationship." I admitted the only bit of truth I would give her.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry I just assumed. Oh geez."

"You're fine you're not the first one to think that. Jaime and I are rather close. It almost seems like we're a couple." I said cutting her off. That's all we got a chance to say to each other before Kellin and the boys ran off stage. Kellin ran up to Grace, giving her a big sweaty kiss that more resembled a dog licking at her face than anything. He threw his arm around her, a big smile on his face, and turned to Vic.

"The guys and I are heading to get drinks to kick off this tour. You guys are coming right?" As if it was humanly possible, Mike's ears perked up and a smile spread across his face.

"I'm in!" Mike eagerly said. The rest of the boys nodded in agreement after showers, which Kellin was gladly going to take advantage of. I told Grace I'd see her later and we all walked off to our own buses.

"You're coming right?" Jaime asked me and I shook my head.

"I have plans with the T.V. and the couch." I joked causing Jaime to smile.

"Okay, text me if you need me." he said, tearing off his shirt. He got stuck with the last shower

"Will do." I told him as I headed to the back to change into something more comfortable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up from my nightmare with my heart pounding violently in my chest. I would have been happy if I never dreamed again. Ryan was miles away yet he haunted me like he was whispering to me as I slept.

I got up and headed to the fridge. Grabbing a water bottle, I thought about where my life was going. I seemed to be on this never ending cycle. I started to wonder what my life would have been like if I never met Jaime.

Right as I made my way over to the couch there was a knock on the RV door. I opened it to see Grace holding a drunken Vic. "Oh god," was the only response I could give. Vic never drank to the point of being hammered, even I knew that, but he was now.

"He came to my trailer. Sorry for just showing up like this and I don't want you to feel like I'm dumping him on you I just-" Grace cut herself off like she didn't know what to say.

"It's fine I, uh, really wasn't doing anything." I said, taking Vic and helping him up the steps. "Did you want to stay for a bit?" I said looking over to Grace. She just shook her head and shut the door trying to close me off from her face but I saw it. I saw the sad, lost look in her eyes. I knew it all too well to miss it. "Come on let's get you water." I cooed to Vic.

"I don't need to be babysat." He responded pouting like a child.

"I'm not babysitting," I said laughing, "I'm trying to help you avoid a hangover." It shut him up for a bit. I had gotten him water, a blanket for myself, and made Vic go change, and started watching Full House on the couch with him before he looked over to me.

"Why do the most beautiful women have to be so damn complicated?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"How so?" I questioned back. He thought for a moment.

"Like you, you are so gorgeous and incredibly smart yet you don't open up, not even to Jaime." My throat closed up and my lungs dared me to breathe, "I don't know what but I know you're hiding something from him." Vic said leaning into me. I tried to search for words, any words to say, and right as I opened my mouth he jumped in. "Can I hold you? I just need someone to hold." his voice was so delicate, so desperate.

I nodded, he was so sad I just had to. A grateful smile spread across his lips and he put one arm around my shoulders and the other reached over to my hip. He pulled me into him and I put my head on his chest. He was warm and his heartbeat was so soothing. I soon fell asleep like a child with a security blanket.