If Love Really Does Exist

I'm Hoping That God Looks Away

I was never the girl who was good with working out her feelings, so I settled on an extra opinion and when I finally found Vic, back in bed asleep, I decided both of us needed a wake-up call. Hopefully mine wouldn't be as rude of an awakening. I grabbed at his sheets, knowing he was completely engulfed by them, and pulled them down. My misjudgment and the lack of space in the bunk area cause Vic to flop down and take me with him. He jerked his head up and laughed at me.

"Shut up. Don't be a jerk like that." I mumbled half-laughing. He unwrapped himself and threw his sheets carelessly on his bunk.

"What's up?" Vic said now sitting on the floor with me.

"I, uh, wanted you're opinion." I bit my lip and Vic seemed to understand.

"Jaime?" he asked clearing up that he did, in fact, understand.

"Just Kayleigh came here to get him back and I've just been so damn mad. I just want to rip her fake hair out but I don't understand why!" Vic's mouth curved up mischievously.

"You like him, Rosa." He stated.

"I'm sorry, what? I don't- I can't-" I said starting to deny it but then it hit me with the intensity of running into a brick wall. Feelings that I had put out in high school, at least I thought I had, bubbled before me. Blowing him kisses, holding his hand, staying up late at night to talk to him, the jealousy. Somewhere along the way I had gained feelings for him but I had done more than that. "Vic, I think I love him." If it was a surprise to him he showed no sign.

"So tell him." he mouth curved into a smile.

"I can't." I said my voice cracking. He had Kayleigh back. He probably didn't even like me. Why would he? I'd probably just make myself look like a fool.

"Yes you can. Look, if you don't tell him before it's too late I'm going to." And before I could protest there was a knock at the door. It was All Time Low. Vic was going to perform A Love Like War. "I will after I get off stage so you better beat me to it."

Vic got ready and left me to myself. How was I supposed to tell Jaime? I didn't even know for sure where he was. What if Vic was right? What if I waited until it was too late? Would I be able to get over it and move on? Or would I be in danger of losing him all together? I decided I was going to do it. I was going to take a chance for once in my life. I got up and headed out of the R.V.

I must have walked around the entire venue twice before I made my was back to the R.V. completely defeated. "How can you be so naive?" I said to myself. I opened the door and I heard someone in the back. I investigated and right as I got to the closed doorway of the bunk area my stomach got that eerily familiar feeling. I could recognize his muttered cursing. It was Ryan. He walked out of the bunk area running straight into me, which seemed to be what he was looking for.

"Rosa, baby, where have you been?" he kissed me and I could taste the alcohol soaking his lips.

"How did you get here?" I tried backing away from him but he had snaked his arms around me and I wasn't strong enough to push away. His mouth curved in a sloppy grin. He leaned down, kissing my neck. It was a sensitive spot but the action just made me feel sick. "Ryan get off!"

He clawed at my shirt exposing more skin. My throat was closing up and my eyes began to sting. I tried harder to get him off me. The more I fought the more aggressive he got. I heard tearing and felt hands up my stomach but I wasn't looking anymore, I couldn't.

"Ryan stop." I yelled my voice was hoarse. He didn't and without thinking I threw my hand up and punched him. He grabbed my arm, his nails digging into my skin, he used his other hand and hit my face. Tears flowed over my eyes and he hit my ribs. Each hit became harder to identify until they abruptly stopped all together.