Antilove

Venti

CAPITOLO VENTI

what is done out of spite

***

THE PITS OF HER STOMACH are churning when Rose stumbles up to her door. A burp escapes her mouth and she takes off her heels before getting her keys out. It's been a while since she's had this much.

Since the age of understanding, she's sworn to never have more than she could handle. And hard as it might, she's beginning to turn out a lot like her birth mom: sick, drunk, and irredeemable. Rose guesses that biology will always dictate her life.

Absolutely incoherent, she knocks on the door because the keys might still be back at the bar. It's not the only thing left behind, though.

The stars are masked by heavy clouds and she can taste the storm in the air. It's mixed in, a cocktail of whisky and humidity. It starts to turn her dizzy and her chest heaves from the heavy effort of keeping her eyes open.

"Josh..."

Warm light cascades onto her, stark against the thick black of night that swallows the rest of her body.

"...What happened to you?" Is all that he says.

"Help me up, won't you?"

With his headphones still around his neck, he steps forward and pulls her arm over his shoulder. His nose turns up as he smells her breath. The satin dress shirt she has on is still clean, as is her hair, and the rest of her except for her alcohol-coated insides.

"You smell good," she says to him.

"Your room?"

"The couch is fine."

He half carries her to the living room and gently sets her on the couch. She can still process everything going on, except the stimuli she's receiving is going haywire against her skin. Josh accidentally brushes her bare ankle and she shivers.

"You need a blanket?" he asks.

"Why?"

"...Because you look...cold?"

"No. Why?" Her head droops to the side. She checks her pulse and it's beating twice as fast as normal. It's a good thing she hasn't been taking her medication or she might be at the ER right now. There's really no silver lining to her situation but her pupils deepen.

"Why what? I think you've, um, you probably need to sleep it off. On your side or something. I'll bring you a trashcan in case...you know."

"Why am I the way I am?"

"I probably can't answer that for you but you're doing fine, aren't you?"

Rose's fingers tangle themselves around his wrist. They tighten of their own accord, even though her fine motor skills are grinding to a halt. "I'm not doing fine. Do you want to ask me why?"

"Why?"

"I'm craving comfort."

And then she drags him by his limb, an extended olive branch, until their chests are touching and her skin stops buzzing from their contact. "Have I ever...told you how attractive you are?" she asks, eyelids heavy as her left hand grazes the side of his face.

Josh turns a different shade and tries to wrench him out of her grasp but she guides his hand until it's at her ribcage, maybe even a little higher. The alcohol concentrated on her breath must have somehow, in her delirious mind, reached him because he's starting to mold into her.