Big Boys Cry (boyxboy)

01

I'm not going to apologize about the Louis comment bcs I never meant to diss him or anything bad by it.  So if you're going to get butthurt over it, kindly stop reading this crap.

Waking up at 3 am was a bad idea.

He knew that well but somehow when he shut his eyes, those voices screamed louder, begging for his attention.

Walker clenched his jaw before running his hand through his dreadlocks in annoyance.

Counting to ten, he tried to calm himself.

Knowing his effort was futile, Walker let her eyes gazed on the glittering stars that were plastered on his ceilings.

How he wish that he was looking at the real one.

But nonetheless, he appreciated her effort. He didn't think that she would remember. Walker once told her that he liked stargazing, he liked looking at the stars the most.

He knew that the loneliness that he felt would last forever but somehow, stargazing made him felt less lonely.

She decorated his dark blue ceilings with bunch of stars that glow in the dark.

Some people might say that it was childish, but he liked it. He didn't care what people said or thought.

It made him sleep better at night.

She made it for his 17th birthday.

She knew he always refused a birthday party. In fact on the same date he was born, every year, Walker would disappear and never be seen by anyone.

It was as if he had been swallowed by the earth.

But he would always appear the next day, pretending that nothing happened.

And so his friends did the same.

Pretending that nothing happened.

Walker hated celebrating his birthday. He didn't see what the point of celebrating it was.

It just a birthday.

People made babies every day.

Condom broke any day.

Even Louis Tomlinson couldn't avoid that.

Or maybe he was trying to convince himself that it was nothing, since the only people who wished him were the one who seen their Facebook notice.

The one he thought as close friend from his last school that he still stayed in touch with forgot his birthday.

He didn't mind that at first.

He didn't make a big deal out of it or even mention it until his friend remembered it and apologized when he finally remembered.

Walker still didn't make a fuss even when he saw the said close friend posted a picture on Instagram to wish one of his friends.

He didn't even say anything when he didn't get a single wish from his parent.

Walker preferred to say nothing.

He noticed everything, he just didn't say anything.

In fact, Walker didn't recall when the last time he celebrated his birthday was.

Was it when he was fourteen? Or fifteen? When was it?

That's the reason why he was so bitter no matter how much he denied it.

People celebrated birthday with their loved ones. With people who cared about their wellbeing.

That being said, Walker had nobody.

Speaking of friends, he had lots. In fact if he scrolled through his phone contact, almost all of them wouldn't have any problem of hanging out with him.

He didn't mind that.

As always, company made him felt less lonely. Even if it meant that he had to buy them sometimes.

Walker was convinced that that's the only reason why they hang out with them.

Because he was rich.

He had money.

But who cares right? Money is everything.

When people see money, they thought that he had everything.

Walker didn't like flaunting it. Sure, he didn't mind using his money on his friends who probably didn't even know his last name but he didn't mind.

It's just money.

Just. As in, no big deal.

For most people, it would be snobbish of him to say that.

He would probably be whacked off and shipped to somewhere where people had a limited source of foods and facilities but Walker never meant it in a bratty way.

But that's all he had.

Money.

He didn't have a family.

He didn't have a father to wave at when his team won the football match.

He didn't have a mother who would swat his hand when he was trying to eat some cookies that she told him to steer away from till dinner.

He didn't have a girl who sincerely liked him for who he is.

Walker only had money.

Money that he could buy anything with but he hated that.

He hated the fact that the only thing that he had was money.

He had nobody to hold when he was scared.

He had nobody to hug when he cried.

He had nobody to cuddle when he went to bed.

Walker Denise was a nobody who had nobody.