Laying in the dark, trying to sleep, the dull shouting from the flat above was a familiar sound to my ears, drunk and arguing again nothing ever changes. Ok I seriously can’t sleep now. It’s not the same without him here to cuddle with, all my stresses and anger seem to fade when he’s around, like he’s the only thing I can focus on.
Rolling over I grab the pillow from the other side of the bed, taking in the smell of his aftershave that was just lingering on it. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen him, so much promo and interviews he never gets time to see me anymore, so I guess the pillow will have to do right now, cuddling a pillow to get to sleep... how tragic.
3 Months ago.
“No fucking way! Over my dead body are you getting in a relationship with him Evie!” Mark screamed at me, standing there waving a finger at me like a concerned father.
“I’m twenty six years old and you have no right telling me who I can and can’t have a relationship with, no matter who they are!” I fired all my anger back at him, standing in the middle of my flat in my pyjamas not very threatening I know.
“I don’t care how old you are he’s one of my best friends! I don’t want to think about him with my sister, it's grim. If you break up I’ll have to pick up the pieces AGAIN. I don’t want to do this Evie, you’re not being with him, end fucking of! It’s a mistake.” He threw his hands in the air in anger, his eyes burning a hole through my head. I wasn’t going to give up.
“You don’t get to tell me, you’re not dad. Let me ‘make my own mistakes’ he’s not a mistake I like him! You won’t have to pick up the pieces there’s no pieces to pick up! Just stop butting in and leave me to be happy, don’t you want me to be?” I pouted, trying the innocent act. His face dropped into a sad half smile, an exasperated sigh escaped his lips.
“Of course I want you to be happy ok. But just not with Glen, he’s my best friend...” his expression turned to a glare again.
“Come on please!” I whined, desperate for him to just consider it.
“No Evie. I’m not having it and I’ll tell him the same. I’m going now Evie, I’m telling him to stay away from you. No discussion.” He grumbled before storming past me and out of the flat, leaving me feeling deflated.
Deflation quickly turned to anger this was becoming a regular occurance getting so angry, my anger had gotten so much better over the last few months but I could feel it getting worse and worse, boiling up to the surface.
My skin felt like it was getting hotter, my lungs tightened as the pace of my heart increased, it felt like my lungs were closing...but it all stopped then faded and blank I just felt nothing...
Present Day.
I don’t know what woke me but I’m glad it did, it saved me. I coughed sitting up staring at the cloud of smoke flushing in from under the door. I ran out of bed and tried the door handle it scorched my hand leaving me screaming from the pain. Fucking hell! There’s a fire!! My thoughts raged, the smoke filled my lungs causing me to collapse onto the floor I tried my best to crawl to my phone which was lying on the floor, Glen I needed him here....
The journey to my phone felt like years, dragging my heavy body over to it and dialling 999 it seemed like hours before an operator finally spoke on the other line, I could barely speak coughing and spluttering from the smoke, my vision starting to become impaired and I saw a tiny flame attack the bottom of the door. The woman’s voice rang through in my ears snapping me out of my haze a little –
