Stupid, egotistical, idiot! Setting me up! I’m now sitting in the middle of a cafe supposedly waiting for Mark and the rest of them for a drink before a ‘gig’ but no Danny decided to set me up.
[From Danny]
Me and Mark have gone to get pizza, Glen’s ‘at the bus’ I told Mark you went for coffee. Have a good time, and don’t do a runner! D X
I might as well stay and actually order a coffee.
People watching it’s interesting, watching strangers go about their lives, in and out the coffee shop for breakfast to take to work or whatever. Sometimes I wish my life was that simple that I had a job, my own house and I’m not on tour with my brother and his band.
I carry on glaring over my coffee and a shadow blocks out my light.
“Hey. What’re you doing here? Danny told me to....”
“Yeah, Glen we got set up! Typical Dan!” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood, as soon as he spoke I could feel the heaviness in his voice, the weight as the sofa dipped next to me. Dark circles under his eyes were darker as I looked in them.
“You look terrible.”
“Thanks, Evie...” I study his face as he trips over his words, I don’t know what he’s trying to say but it’s coming out wrong.
“Glen. We’ve been terrible to each other. I...just want to say sorry for that.” Now it’s my turn to choke pursing my lips together and clench a shaking hand trying to stop myself from showing any more emotion than needed.
“I know. God...” his jaw tightens, I assume trying to contain the emotion.
I can feel the hard exterior breaking. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. I will myself not to show this sort of emotion to me it means weakness, right now anyway.
“Evie. I’m so, so sorry for being an idiot about Mark. It's just...he’s your brother I didn’t want to piss him off by being too close.” The words blast out in a blur. I shift towards him a bit and take his hand, looking him in the eyes. Tears sway around in them making me bite my lip in restraint.
“It’s ok. I understand why you did it now. But I just...I need you.” Abandoning my previous no emotion rule, I burst into tears burying my face in his chest clutching on to the bottom of his t-shirt with one hand.
“I’m sorry. I was so horrible and selfish. I didn’t think of you, I’m..sorry” I sobbed. His head rested on top of mine. From his chest I feel it shaking...he’s crying. It makes me cry more. My eyes flick up and see a few people looking at us, we must be a sight. All of a sudden my sobs turn to amused laughter and somewhat relief.
“Why are you laughing?” his tone is sad, making my heart drop. I look up at him, his face tear stained and slightly red. His eyes are the only thing I pay attention to, not the people around us. Just him. A small one sided smile sneaks onto my face as my thumbs wipe his tears away.
“I love you.” A tiny laugh escaped my lips, in realization, I’ve never said that. It’s long overdue, we’ve been together nearly eight months. I just want to be normal now.
A small whisper of air exhaled from his lips, his eyes blinking rapidly obviously he was trying to process it.
“Evie...you said it.” his voice went up an octave in surprise. More tears poured over as it hit me. I love him.
I grab the collar of his jacket and pull him down to me into a kiss. The way his lips connected with mine, it felt right, and somehow, among all of the dizziness and the clinging to him like a life line, something inside me changed. I know I love him. This new feeling could be dwelled upon later, because, for now, I was content to feel his breath come and go with mine.
