Dinah Jane Imagines

Pregnant

C'mon. C'mon. C'mon.

I sat impatiently on the bathroom floor, my legs crossed indian-style. I rocked back and forth slightly, crossing my fingers and squeezing my eyes closed in attempts to bring any form of miracle to this situation that I was in right now: me waiting for the results of this pregnancy test.

I wanted this, I wanted this so bad that I could and probably would cry. Dinah and I have been trying to have a baby for what felt like forever, but in reality it was only a couple of months. But, every time that I felt like I was actually pregnant or that the next time was going to be different than all of our past attempts, it wasn't.

The timer on my phone went off, and with a shakily hand I swiped the dismiss bar so the noise would stop. I took a deep breath and picked up the stick that was lying on the edge of the bath tub. Please, please, please let this be it. I closed my eyes and opened them slowly only to see 'negative' written big and clear on the little screen.

My heart fell to my stomach and I threw the wand against the wall of the bathroom in frustration before bringing my hands up to my face and letting all of my tears of irritation fall down my face carelessly.

Why is this not working?

I heard the front door open and close from down stairs and a happy voice yell into the quietness that consumed the house, "I'm home, babe!" I didn't move, though. I couldn't move. My heart hurt and I felt energy less, I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't going to bring a baby into this world, and I hated every moment of this whole situation.

The lack of response probably scared Dinah because moments later she bust through the bathroom door. When she took in the scene in front of her, she knew exactly what had just happened: tears were falling down my face, a pregnancy test was thrown on the opposite side of the bathroom, and the empty wrapper and box lied besides me on the floor.

Dinah let out a sigh and sat down next to me, wrapping me into her big warm arms, "Baby-" "I don't get it," I cried, "We've tried everything. Am I not able to get pregnant? Is there something wrong with me?" Dinah ran her warm hand up and down my arm comfortingly, "Nothing is wrong with you," she whispered, "Now is just not the time, that's all this means."

That's what all of the past tries have meant.

We stayed quiet for a while, Dinah still holding me in her arms, "I want this so bad," I finally said, breaking our silence. Dinah smiled slightly, before pressing her lips to my forehead, "I want it just as bad, but it will happen. God has a plan for us, and when he decides to bless us with a child I know for damn sure you'll be a great mom." I let out a little laugh, and wiped at my dried up tears, "I love you." "I love you more," Dinahchuckled, squeezing my body into hers.

2 months later

"I'll be back in an hour! Simon wants me to meet him down at the office for a meeting about my release dates for the next album," Dinah called from the living room. I was standing in front of the island in our kitchen, cutting up the produce that I had just bought from the grocery store a couple nights prior. Dinah walked into the kitchen with a smile and kissed me goodbye, "I'll be back." "Have fun, tell Simon I said hey," I responded, kissing her lips one last time before she walked towards the kitchen doorway."I will, bye baby." "Bye!" I called out after her.

I set down the knife I was using to slice the strawberries, and I walked over to the radio that was set up on the counter. I clicked it on and danced around the kitchen, grabbing multiple Tupperware containers to separate the different fruits.

Everything was going great, life was going great. In the past two months Dinah and I had worked on our relationship, making it better for us together and our individual selves. Not that anything was really wrong between us, but spending the time together with us, and just us, taught us so much more about each other than what we actually knew from the previous four years we've spent together.