Komahina One Shots

-5-

A/N:  pic has nothing to do with the one shot, it just a random pic XD.  Yep, hope you like!

Trash.  Worthless.  Disgusting.  Pitiful.  Ugly.  Stupid.  Pig.  Unworthy.  Trash.

Nothing I do would ever compensate for my uselessness.  For my worthlessness.  So why would I continue to live?

I just wanted to tell him something before I left.  Something that I had never had the courage to admit. 

He was the one I loved.  But the likely hood was that the feelings were not returned.  He would reject me.  He would be repulsed by me.  He would despise me.

I was standing in the bathroom, surrounded by capsules of different prescription medicines.  This, I decided, would be the most painless and clean way to end my life.

I took a handful of the pills into my hand.  I was shaking and hesitant.  Did I really want to do this?  Yes, I said to myself with finality.  This was the only way to get out.

Suddenly the door swung open, and I whipped my head around, startled.  Hinata-Kun was standing there, staring at me, shocked.  "I was just coming in here to get...  KOMAEDA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!," he yelled at me as he slapped the pills out of my hand.  They rained down on the floor, scattering. 

He looked at me almost angrily.  "Komaeda, what the hell were you doing?!," he yelled again, his hand gripping my shoulder.  "I-I was... I-," I started, but I couldn't finish.  I couldn't tell him.  Not that he would care anyways. 

"Komaeda were you trying to...," he said quietly, looking around, but then trailed off.  He looked back at me, tears welling up in his eyes.  "Ko, why?," he asked, his voice cracking.  Why was he doing this?  Was it possible that he cared?  I immediately diminished that notion.  No, why would he?

"Why would you care if I was?," I spat angrily, although I regretted it immediately.  He suddenly pulled me into a bear hug.  "Because I care about you," he said, his voice muffled slightly by the fabric on my shoulder.

I was in shock.  He... he cared?  I started crying audible sobs.  Hajime looked up at me, concerned, as I hugged him back tightly.  "N-no ones e-ever-r said anything like th-that to me befor-re!," I cried, sobbing louder.  He patted the top of my head soothingly. 

My sobs quieted down enough for me to hold conversation a few minutes later.  "H-Hajime, there's something that I-I need to tell you," I said, stuttering from both nervousness and from crying.  "Hm?," he said, a signal for me to continue.  "I...  I have f-feelings for you... like, more than a friend...,' I said quietly, afraid of how he would respond.  "I-I love you... Hinata-Kun..." 

He was silent for a moment, and I was afraid that he hated me now.  He let go of our embrace and he looked at me fondly.  "I love you too," he replied as he crashed his lips into mine.

I kissed back roughly.  After a few moments we broke apart for air.  He smiled at me, and I smiled back, as we hugged once again.

"Just promise me you'll never do that again," he said quietly, near my ear.  "Don't take your own life.  You are so worth it."  "I promise," I replied, as tears of happiness sprung to my eyes again.

Now you might think that this is the end of the story.  A happy ending, right?  Well, no.

"Hinata-Kun I'm sorry that I could not keep our promise," I said quietly to myself. 

Hajime was dead now.  My one reason for living was gone. 

We were married, and had adopted a little girl.  Hajime loved that little girl.  She was his world.  We had named her Chisa (yeah yeah whatever, I really like that name XD), after our teacher that we had back at Hope's Peak.  Now don't get me wrong, I loved her with all of my heart as well, but she and Hajime were always closer.  He was like the mother figure and I was like the father figure, and mothers are always the ones closer to the child... at least in my own experience.

She had beautiful blonde hair and bright blue eyes.  She was beautiful.  But that didn't prevent tragedy from striking. 

Her school was K-8, so there were teenagers there.  And some of them were quite unstable.  One day, one of them brought a gun to school.  He shot randomly, hitting both students and staff.  Chisa was shot through the head.  She died instantly. 

When the news was given to us, Hajime fell into a spiraling depression.  He wouldn't come out of our bedroom, and even though I brought food to him, he rarely ate it.  He was losing weight at an astonishing rate, and he was getting sick.

Soon his condition became critical, but he refused to go to the hospital.  I begged him to go, told him that I couldn't live without him.  He just smiled at me sadly and kissed me softly, saying that I would find someone better than him.  But I didn't want someone better.  I wanted him.

Then one day I was taking a breakfast tray up to him when I saw him laying on his back, unmoving, his eyes closed.  "Hajime?," I said quietly, hoping that he was just asleep.  I was supressing the panic that was rising up inside me.  "Hajime?!," I called again, louder this time, my tone more frantic.  He did not respond.  "HAJIME!," I screamed, shaking him.  I had dropped the tray, and it's contents splattered onto the carpet as the metal tray clattered to the floor.  He did not respond. 

I sobbed.  I sobbed and I sobbed.  I held his cold, boney hand for about an hour, and lay my head on his chest, just sobbing.

Now, where am I now?  I'm on top of the apartment building that we lived in.  About 18 stories up.  If I fell from this height I would surely die, right?  I hoped so.

"I'm so so sorry babe," I said quietly to myself.  "But I need to be with you and Chisa." 

I jumped.  The last thing I thought about was the day that Hajime had kept me from doing this.  The day I admitted my love for him.  That was my final thought before I slammed into the pavement below.

A/N: I am a good person...

I should try writing fluff some time...  comment if you want the next chapter to be fluff XD

Hope you enjoyed!  Love y'all! <3