Phan Oneshot Collection

Don't You Need Me?

Summary:
This story is part of a two-part songfic!series. An artist known as The Ready Set wrote a song called 'Don't You Need Me', but he then mentioned in a commentary that the song was from one person's perspective in a relationship, and had a sister song to accompany it. Two years later, that song was released, titled 'See You'. He describes these songs as being from both sides of the story, and what's going through each of there minds. This first one is titled 'Don't You Need Me?' and its really about loving someone, and holding on to them, even though they're not there, but feeling like they still are, feeling their presence somehow. I thought it would be a good idea to fabricate this story he talks about.
Hope you enjoy.

Please note:
To read part two, continue to the next part when you've finished this story.

Warnings: none- sorry, let me know if you find any

Word Count: 964

Genre: angst

Point of View: Phil Lester

~~~~~~~~~

21 June, 2010

My foot pressed harder down on the pedal and we shot down the freeway, well beyond the speed limit. Your eyes gleamed as you looked out the window at the scenery zipping past, and the empty road yawning out in front of us. You laughed as the wind crashed into your face, and I grinned and pushed the old beat-up rental car well past what it was supposed handle. I made a sharp turn, and tumbled off an exit to a oneway lane. As the car got comfortable racing along this new small-town road, I glanced over at you. In the Californian heat, you had pushed your brown hair back away from your face, and your eyes sparkled in the early morning light. You caught my gaze, and laughed, totally high on adrenaline. I should've kissed you right then and there.

We stopped at the Santa Monica Pier. We wandered throughout the shops and kiosks, bought ice cream, and eventually made it down to the beach. It was hot out, and you'd rolled up your sleeves, your hair still pushed back. Together, we found some shade up near the dunes and I sat down next to you.

It was then, looking out at the endless ocean stretching out in front of us, the sun beating down and causing the water to sparkle, the loud noises of the pier and shouts from beach-goers, our hands and mouths sticky with ice cream, that you told me you loved me.

You told me you loved me, and we shared a vanilla-chocolate kiss.

Sometimes I wonder if we went too fast, if we didn't leave time for ourselves and simply jumped right into it, trying to make every moment count. But we made it last, saying we would never let it go.

10 August, 2011

It was the night that we had moved in together for the first time. I still can't comprehend what I was feeling in the moment, because of how those feelings brought us to what we were today.

Do you remember that night, we bought a few drinks, cleared the IKEA boxes from the living room, and drank and danced with each other until we could see the sun peeking over the horizon? Do you remember the euphoria we felt, as we had finally broke away, and made our great escape together? Can you understand how that one day impacted our lives so much and in such a way that if it didn't happen we wouldn't be here?

You and me, we value every second. We make sure that we cherish moments for what they are. Have I overdone that? Do you think I valued these things too much? Because I can't let these moments go, like you've seemed to.

Sometimes, when I'm alone, awake in bed, I can see your silhuoette next to me. You're freezing in these sheets, and I want to hold you, to take you in my arms again. But I can't. Because I'll never know where you are, where you left to.

Don't you need me?

9 July, 2013

Do you remember that summer, when we went hiking, and found ourselves in a meadow. The summer breeze fluttered through your hair, and that Carolina blue shirt you used to wear billowed in the wind. I miss that button-up, you never seemed to wear it after that. We stopped to pick some wildflowers, and you put some up in your hair, like a faery.

You gave me a reason to believe in happiness, a reason to believe in magic. And those memories are he reason that I look back now, and still care about you. You gave me a reason to love you. I can't ever let that go.

19 November, 2014

Send me back in time, to those autumn nights.

Those autumn nights where we'd cranked the heat a little two high, and maybe had a little two much to drink. Those autumn nights, when you kissed me as if you hadn't before. Those autumn nights, where we had it all.

Because heck, do I miss that.

Is this coming out right? Don't you understand? Will you feel something if you ever read this? Will you crack a smile?

22 April, 2015

I don't remember how late it was exactly, but I remember that it was well past the hotel's curfew.

Awake from jetlag, and excited after out first day at Playlist, we were curled up on the bed, your Spotify playing softly. We weren't talking much- I, on Twitter on my phone, you, clinging to my heart, falling asleep slowly, singing along to the music.

I can still hear your voice when that song plays, through the radio.

Don't you need me?

This sounds like such a fairytale, like those stories that you heard growing up. The stories about how love never lasts, about how you ran away to be in someone else's book.

Where are you now? Are you in a magical garden, like Thumbelina, or a castle in the sky, like Jack and the giants? Tell me, are the clouds make of silver? Is your hair made of gold?
Do you think of me much?

Out here, in London, in our home, things are crazy. Without you, I can't seem to figure out how to do things right. Once, I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream, and walked into your room, hoping to talk about it. You weren't there. The other day, I had to take the Tube through the city. It was weird without you. It's been hard to shake the feeling of you, it's been hard to smile. Come and see me, even if it's in my sleep. It would be enough.

Don't you need me?

Now, I'm laying in bed. It's 2am, and the storm outside woke me up. These sheets we used to share can't seem to keep me warm anymore.

I can't help but think of you. That always seems to happen. I'm not writing because I'm angry. I'm not despondent. You have your reasons, I have mine. But I do have one request. A request that you'll think of me, like I think of you. That you'll cherish your new life, and value every moment. That you'll walk the streets with your shoulders back, that you'll smile like you've not a care in the world. I loved you, Dan, so don't let these memories go to waste. 

Yes, that would be enough.

Don't

Let

Go

~~~~~~~~~~~

//Special thanks to everyone reading, yes, you, for waiting a year for these weird oneshots xx//

//Again, sorry for my shitty writing//