In the grand scheme of things I think he had everything planed out for a long time. Everything was, almost, graceful. He played with fire, fought with knives and was friends with sorrow. It happened faster than it should have. It was like being friends with me, created a rapid monster inside of him that wouldn't let go of his brain.
I wish I could have saved him.
I wish I could have saved her the hurt.
The thing is I'm too scared to say anything to her because she reminds me of him and I hate it. I can't say his name. Or even hers. But they where three people and I could say they're names like no tomorrow and now I can only say one. Debby. She helped a lot. She smiled a lot. She lied a lot.
She was best friends with her and he was best friends with me. It all ended up working. Me and Debby where going to get engaged when I got enough money and she landed a job as actress. The four of us where going to have a double wedding. Champagne and Cereal for the meal, pizza for the cake. The girls would have long puffed out red dresses and we would have nice sharp blue tuxedos.
We sat amongst the stars, giggling and making this stupid, naïve plan. It was a joke then, but now, it's all I want.
"I would dye my hair to match josh and Debby could get tattoos to match tyler"
The memories played out in my head over and over again. I don't know why but that sounds like the best thing right now.
I walked into her house the day after he left. Vodka, wine, scotch, any alcohol she could find was in her hands.
"The doctors said that we should go to counseling to get everything out that might be inside. Damn bastered turned around and hugged her husband." She took another swig or two then pointed at me. "He loved you. Probably more than me. Josh why? Why? He had such a good soul."
I took the scotch from her hands and put the cap on. "I don't fucking know Jenna, what I do know is that he would want you healthy, not drinking."
"Yah well I want him alive. I guess neither of us get what we want"
a/n: I don't know what is going on but I do know that the next chapter is shit but so is this one so it's okay
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Him •twenty one pilots•
Fanfiction•Disclaimer ~ the title sounds like it would just be a bunch of joshler fluff but it's actually really sad ~ possible trigger warnings will be posted each chapter• Tyler leaves and never comes back. Josh is left to pick up everything he left. Jen...
