Poetic Relapse.

Karma

These last few days have been filled with absolution of karma, for seems I can't remember myself doing. These acts must have been minor, though they had large after maths. I can help but flinch from the whip lash I've experienced because I fear that this Monday, this day today, will not be the best for me.

I get to see the girl that has been clouding my mind for three weeks and hug her and kiss her and tell her shes mine even though I dont always miss her. My feeling for that man just last week have dwindled and repeated that process, a feeling I never though to accomplish.

Cross bows of lies and defeats have been shot my way in the course of two days and I can't help but wish to vanish. Untold stories be friends and foes have left me in a grey plain and I have no idea which direction is North. I have broken my compass and left myself to hang dry, ignorance is bliss and these tears that I cry are so easy to miss these days.

I've began to distance myself from friends, I have deleted most social media and I have began to realize whom I have become in this period of time when all I could do is rely on likes and I have no reason to do so furthermore. I have began to realize that I do not deserve to be a second option, I have my flaws, yes, but I deserve to be loved and cared for all on my own, and should not search for an unfit home, I shall crown myself on this chair that was once called a throne but is now just a clusterfuck of pieces of paper filled with motivation.

This unnecessary Karma is not by my own actions. I have been strong, but I am allowed to fall if need be. My love may pick me up and carry me until I have the strength to go on and be free. I will love her eventually, and she, me.