Poetic Relapse.

Tired..

Sleep doesn't help when it's the mind that's tired.

I bet you've heard that phrase before, and for anyone who doesn't suffer from a mental disorder, you wouldn't understand the feeling.

Waking up at seven am or earlier feeling as if you slept for 5 minutes, eating breakfast some days but most usually skipping it.

Travelling to school or work just to sit there and drone through your day with small peaks of interest when someone says something funny, but that joy never seems to last long enough, does it?

Because as soon as school or work is over, and you're heading to wherever you end up sleeping that night, those thoughts that cause you to hate the feeling of taking another breath come back and you're stuck because nothing can stop them for long enough. No volume of music can cause a shift large enough to move your point of view. No motivational song can assist you. No drawing, dancing, singing, writing, nothing.

You're just,
Tired.

So you lay in bed, right?

You lay there with music on and the lights off and maybe snack on something but absolutely nothing can make you enjoy the feeling of helping your body keep itself alive.

I can now fully admit,
That I am too tired,
And a coma just won't do it.