twenty one :.: joshler

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(thank you all for 2k reads ilysm💜)

josh informed me yesterday that debby was able to get in touch with her parents. so, she's moving from ohio to florida where her parents are. she said she just wants to be close to her family right now, and get out of this place.

I can't say I blame her.

josh worries me, lately. ever since his last practice, he's been acting... strange. some of the time, he doesn't answer texts or phone calls, which is fine, I know he's busy. but at the same time, it seems like he's avoiding me. he seems different, even when he's with me, which isn't too often anymore.

I don't know, call me a controlling boyfriend, but it's getting to be a problem.

i'll call him.

I dial his number, and on the fifth ring, i'm pleasantly surprised to hear josh's voice through the line, "hello?"

"oh, hi. what's up?" I ask him, feeling suddenly nervous.

"not much, just working on some new beats. how about you?" he replies, and I shrug, forgetting for a moment that he can't see me.

"nothing, I-I was just wondering if I can see you later, or sometime soon. I kind of need to talk to you." I say, grasping my bottom lip between my teeth as my sentence comes to a close.

"I can always make time for you, babyboy. is everything okay?"

I grin at his response, nearly forgetting the whole reason I have to talk to him in the first place. I mentally scold myself and reply.

"yeah, I think so. I mean, I-I hope so." I chuckle timidly at myself, running my free hand through my hair a few times. nervous habits.

"okay, should I be worried?" he asks skeptically. I roll my eyes at all of the questions that I personally cannot answer.

"I don't know, honestly. I hope you would have no reason to be. if that makes sense."

"i'll come now. be there in twenty." josh informs me abruptly.

"oh, uh- okay. see you then." did my answer really sound that bad?

"see you." and just as i'm about to hang up, I hear, "oh, tyler?"

"yeah?"

"I love you." I can picture the cheesy smile on his face, and I smile, too.

"I love you, too. bye." I chuckle, and he says goodbye, and we hang up. maybe he isn't hiding anything, maybe everything's fine. or maybe he just forgot about it. or maybe he's just losing interest. maybe he wants to break up and he's just taking time to think if how to do it...

what if he thinks I did something?

god, i'm probably just over thinking it. of course I am, I always do. but maybe-

tyler, stop being such a baby. get over it, he's losing interest. you can't blame him.

I know. but I thought he loved me.

see? I told you. we love you. not him.